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  • Friday, November 18th, 2011


  • Thursday, November 17th, 2011


  • No show for Wednesday....our profound apologies.


  • Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

    Cops find 31 pounds of pot in man's luggage ... Occupy Portland wants Adams to apologize, and OWS feels the wrath of the NYPD ... Woman shot in head drives herself to the hospital ... SCIENCE:  People know more than they think, old people have a smaller carbon footprint, Parkinson's linked to solvent ... Cain screws up a question about Libya ... Sandusky said he just "horsed around" with boys ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Jackson's bed removed from auction, Sting debuts free app, Diddy pays tribute to Heavy D, Kat Von D claims Jesse James cheated on her quite a lot ...

  • Monday, November 14th, 2011

    Hunter mistakes friend for elk ... Occupy Portland unencamped ... Ramos freed in Venezuela ... Vaccuum cleaner causes nuclear plant fire ... Cain's wife says he respects women ... Norway killer not insane ... SCIENCE: Mosquitoes fly father than you think ... tourists can see lava, black rhino extinct, spiders lure mates with gifts ... PDX gets body scanners ... ENTERTAINMENT: Actors renew vows, Timberlake goes to dance, new Black Sabbath album ... Retail workers want Thanksgiving off ... Senataor doesn't understand layaway....

  • Friday, November 11th, 2011

    Occupy Portland told tpo leave park and fix the damn grass, while Occupy Harvard is only open to students ... Naked man hides in nut orchard ... Victim mugged in pumpkin patch ... Obama will use GOP speeched verbatim ... Cain makes Anita Hill joke ... Amish man cuts off dad's beard ... SCIENCE:  Numerology, polluted brains ... Woman beats bus drive, pulls down pants ... Hunt still on for MLB player ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Broadway Spider-man news, DeGeneneres named AIDS envoy, Handler now single, Some actor has a kid, Billy Crystal to host Oscars, Selena Gomez' puppy ... Cops snag suspects with beer .....

  • Thursday, November 10th, 2011

    City to close Occupy Portland camp ... Man killed in Mexico for social media comments ... Man tricks iPad buyer with bag of potatoes ... GOP crowd boos Cain questions ... SCIENCE:  Giant beavers, speed bumps that recharge batteries, robotic guide dog, giant asteroid doesn't hit earth  ... Penn State students riot ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Michael Jackson's death bed, Grazer to produce Academy Awards, Oscar-host suggestions ......

  • Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

    Mayor Adams concerned about Occupy camp, protestors chain themselves in plaza ... Flu shots for dogs ...Bee attack ... Oldest fridge recycled ... SCIENCE:  Ugandan electric car, White House nixes ETs, zoo to separate gay penguins, Mutai breaks marathon record ... Voting to replace Wu ... Dawn soap helps put out fire ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Write Hal Kanter dies, TV couple expecting 20th child, Pitbull vs. Lohan, 14-year-old threatens Bieber ex ... Man falls asleep in dumpster

  • Monday, November 7th, 2011

    ....A dumpster shows up at Occupy Portland ... Cops investigate death on NE Halsey ... Jesse Ventura is peeved ... Violet Beauregard’s dad dies ... Oklahoma gets ten earthquakes ... New Cain accuser schedules press conference ... SCIENCE:  Jump in global warming, SD card has wireless function, falcons can save vineyards ... Target to close Gateway store ... Ladies do something lascivious in parking lot ... Andy Rooney dies at 92 ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Kardashians mocked on SNL, Lohan serves four hours in jail, Lavigne attacked, Vince Neil guilty, Matthew Fox countersues party-bus driver


  • Friday, November 4th, 2011 

    Portland cops prepare for battle … Peeping Tom arrested in Oregon City … Obama thinks France can get its act together … Man realizes he has winning lottery ticket … SCIENCE:  Laser test for whiskey, flexible solar e-reader, strawberries can heal alcohol damage … Unhappy customer pees in bank tube … Bear captured in Washington … Texas judge in beating video won’t face charges … Beef website offer choice for killing your cow … ENTERTAINMENT:  Martin and del Toro now Spanish citizens, Porky’s star planned suicide, DiCaprio plays gay Hoover, Chaz Bono threatens lawsuit....


  • Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

    .....Occupy Oakland turns violent, Occupy Portland gets uppity … Cain accuser got $5K payout … Washington rejects liquor bids … Boehner scoffs at Obama … SCIENCE:  Dutch professor faked data, US may test anthrax vaccine on children, dogs walked by men are more aggressive, Google screws up iPhone app … Town bans medical marijuana … PETA disapproves of fish-flinging contest … Chinese teen has tumor removed … Oregon growers ship Christmas trees … ENTERTAINMENT: Clooney gets actor award, Brown and Bow Wow spend $15K at strip club, McFarlane wants to make Star trek show, Boardwalk Empire renewed.....


  • Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

    ..........

  • Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

    ......Occupy Portland kicked out of Schrunk Plaza, and Michael Moore visits … Man dressed as zombie arrested after protest … Man stabbed by really scary guy in Portland … SCIENCE:  Wall-climbing robot, Facebook’s arctic server farm, “lane assist” on upcoming Fords, scientists track frigging narwhals … BofA drops debit-card charge … Pastor apologizes for inappropriate religious tracts … Meat vending machine … Creepy police-union T-shirt makes reappearance … Baby shampoo loaded with cancer … ENTERTAINMENT:  Vince Neil cops a plea, Oscar producer dies, Kimmel to host White House Correspondents’ Dinner … Trick-or-Treaters hit by cars … Obama isn’t smoking … Angry girl goes nuts on bus....

  • Monday, October 31st, 2011

    .....25 protestors arrested in Jamison Square … Man hiding from cops drops through ceiling … Herman Cain accused of sexual harassment … Breast-feeding moms stage “nurse-in” … Dam explosion reopens river … GPS tracker app watches children … SCIENCE:  Genetically engineered mosquitoes, Austin creates renewable neighborhood, chimp “gets” language, robot goes to school for girl … Ron Paul wants to get rid of student loans … Man burns roomie’s stuff after guy’s dog eats his bird … Steve Jobs’ final words … ENTERTAINMENT:  Kim K files for divorce, Lohan really takes her probation seriously, Metallica fans riot in India, Rowling wanted to kill Ron Weasley … Lesbian couple crowned homecoming king and queen … Power out all over the northeast.....

  • Friday, October 28th, 2011

    ....Guy attacks people on MAX platform … Gresham man takes ammo to Guam … Giant Lego man to be released … Wall Street Journal to list e-books on bestseller lists … Occupy Portland told to stay away from Pearl park … Man cuts off arm with homemade guillotine … SCIENCE:  Undeserved praise can make you sad, Samsung outsells Apple, seaweed moves south, daily aspirin could help bowel cancer … John Edwards trial coming … Swedish lunch lady pole dances … ENTERTAINMENT:  Mario Cantone marries, Marie Osmond feels ill, Michael Lohan held for observation, David Gilmour’s son on trial, James Brown’s manager sentenced, Redbox raises price, MTV brings back Beavis and Butthead.....

  • Thursday, October 27th, 2011

    ........

  • Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

    ....Man pulls gun on neighbor and dog … Oakland cops clash with protestors, a man develops and “I was arrested” app, and a group suggests Occupy Portland disperse … Planes collide over Newberg … Michael Jackson asked to knocked out … British kids gambling with marbles … ODFW stops turtle sale on Craigslist … SCIENCE:  Spiders can find you, Finland’s sex-ed classes, father of AI dies … Girl’s service dog kicked out of store twice … Obama wants to help student debt … Woman bites off boyfriend’s testicles .. ENTERTAINMENT:  Tyler loses teeth. Bono’s done dancing, Rooney’s in the hospital, Winehouse drankl a lot of booze, Pink Martini to hold Occupy Portland concert, Netflix stock plunges… Drunk dad makes nine-year-old drive....

  • Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

    ....Cop arrested for domestic violence … Man accidentally shoots wife in head … Occupy Wall Street threatened by drum circles … College student stabbed by stranger … NYC cops smuggle guns, cigarettes and slot machines … Serial rapist targeting ex-sorority members … Pawn shop tracking system … Japan offers all-you-can-eat Whoppers … SCIENCE:  Filthy gas pumps, Army to stop testing nerve gas on monkeys, soda may cause violence, new artificial skin … Rick Parry proposes 20 percent tax … Sewage smell closes high school … Younger buyers less loyal to car brands … Connecticut lawmaker wants to change date of Halloween … Apple TV already in the works … ENTERTAINMENT:  Robin Williams marries, Top Cheff: Just Dessert contestant indicted for child porn,  Michael Lohan arrested again, Obama gets chicken and waffles, Robin Gibb out of hospital....

  • Monday, October 24th, 2011

    ....Dawn performs the theme song a capella … Loaded gun falls from luggage … Man wrassles Gresham gator … Lindsay Graham says Obama mishandled mideast … Turkey quake … Target recalls frog masks … Ron Paul’s tax plan … SCIENCE:  Crashed satellite missing, washing machines pollute the ocean, giant undersea amoebas, world is more peaceful than ever … Netflix to service UK and Ireland … ENTERTAINMENT:  Will Ferrell gets prize, Loretta Lynn in hospital, Snooki at the mall, rundown of weekend celebrity news … Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann say words....

  • Friday, October 21st, 2011

    ....Obama announces Iraq troop withdrawal … Measles cases up in U.S. … Oregon drivers ignore speed limits … Lingerie League wants to start youth league … Perry and Romney hate each other … Speed dial used to scare attacker … Bachmann says Occupy protestors are dirty … Clinton in Pakistan … Woman to get her mom’s uterus … SCIENCE:  Scientists concerned about mercury ban, teens’ IQs change, China wants to own the moon, robot can build itself … Conrad Murray update … Car safety features don’t save women … Ferry captain crashes while talking about Catwoman … Starbucks says coffee supply threatened … ENTERTAINMENT:  Lohan shows up at morgue, gangster tries to block movie, Ti Burton Macy’s balloon, Mickey Rooney’s a bastard....

  • Thursday, October 20th, 2011

    ........

  • Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

    ....Occupy Wall Street supported by New Yorkers, and Portland’s cost to fix the park … Vancouver couple arrested for abusing adopted twins … Cops hunts escaped tigers and lions in Ohio … Machete and rakes figure in brawl … SCIENCE:  Nano laptop coating, Cyclops shark, stroke victim at South Pole, ban on tobacco at World Series … Ron Paul against 9-9-9 tax … Possible lead in Disneyland … Earthquakes at Mt. Rainier … ENTERTAINMENT:  Sister Wives harmed by bigamy probe, TV composer dies, Springsteen collection moved, two people you’ve never heard of get married, Susan Sarandon calls the pope a nazi, Halle Berry and Selena Gomez get stalked … Man sets record for most signed baseballs....


  • Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

    Today...a glorious installment of The Best of Legion of News.


  • Monday, October 17th, 2011

    ........


  • Friday, October 14th, 2011

    ....Pot raid yields 6,800 plants … Occupy Wall Street protestors arrested … Portland school band Halloween costumes … BofA customers close accounts … SCIENCE:  Man gets double hand transplant, NASA books flight with Virgin Galactic, crickets hang around to protect mates, electric car can power home, new Bigfoot sightings … House passes bill limiting abortion coverage … Eel blocks sewage pipe … ENTERTAINMENT:  Harry Potter actor makes a bomb, another Victoria’s Secret fashion show on TV, judge nixes “Lady Goo Goo,” authors support protests, Indonesians buy fake Motley Crue tickets, Girl Scouts warn about reality TV....


  • Thursday, October 13th, 2011

    ....“Moss Man” wanted for missing trial … Plastic bag ban starts Saturday … Police arrest eight Occupy Portland protestors … U.S. not ready for bioterrorism attack … Costco gives $10 million to liquor-privatization initiative … November 5th is “Bank Transfer Day” … SCIENCE:  The nose separates smells, scary realistic 3D face masks, man receives five-organ transplant, DNA could identify Gacy victims, 10-year-olds understand dogs best … Math teacher sets herself on fire … Can says black people are “brainwashed” into voting Democrats … Squirrel causes explosion … BlackBerry services are back, mostly … Man in Philippines makes himself into Superman … Warren Buffett and his taxes … ENTERTAINMENT:  Celebrity-phone hackers says he was “addicted,” McFarlane ready to end Family Guy, Britney hits 10 million Twitter followers … Duck hunters shoot each other....


  • Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

    ....First flu hospitalization of the season … Occupy Portland meet Occupy Vancouver … BlackBerry outages … Topeka repeals domestic battery law … Stroller recall … Wal-mart and Facebook strike deal … SCIENCE:  Shuttle heads for California, otter battle, robot teaches itself, women on pill less satisfied … Family lost in corn maze calls 911 … Woman puts ad on Craigslist looking for pot … ENTERTAINMENT: Chynna Phillips no longer dancing, Jack Osbourne to breed, Spelling continues to breed, Knoxville also keeps breeding, Austin Powers actor kills prison cellmate....


  • Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

    ....Seattle “superhero” arrested … Man throws hot dog at Tiger Woods … NBA lockout affecting other businesses … Occupy Portland continues … SCIENCE:  Zombified spiders, German “forest boy,” possible kraken, Bjork’s science iPad songs … New macho Dr. Pepper soda … Dr. Murray recounts all the drugs he handed out … Steve Job death certificate released … iPhone 4S breaks pre-sale record … ENTERTAINMENT: Cops raid World War Z set, Lil Wayne talks sizzurp, HBO film to start Michael Douglas as Libarace, Resident Evil accident injures zombies ....


  • Monday, October 10th, 2011

    ....Body found in house fire … Occupy Portland is still going on … The GOP says protestors are a “mob” … Thousands turn out of Portland Marathon … Hertz suspends Muslims … No turkeys fall on Arkansas festival … Off-duty cops shoots at burglar … SCIENCE:  U.S. drone infected with virus, maggot therapy, what the Donner Party ate, cloning stem cells, Barbie goes green … Boaters survive 20 hours in ocean … Underwear thief logs 100th arrest … ENTERTAINMENT:  Zsa Zsa in and out of hospital again, Fonzie’s bike for sale, pianist Williams dies, McCartney marries, Hank Williams, Jr. writes snippy song....


  • Friday, October 7th, 2011

    ....Occupy Portland occupies downtown park … Protestors in D.C. and NY … Another mom kicked off Trimet … Obama talks jobs some more … Man passes out at Taco Bell, tries to give taco as ID … Decade-old war in Afghanistan only half done … FCC plans to bring broadband to underserved …. Fake psychic has girl rob parents … SCIENCE: Moon shadow’s waves, law firm’s accident app, dino footprints in Arkansas, Japanese robot washed hair, monkeys typing Shakespeare … Teen girl’s porn addiction leads to robbery … Hussein lookalike almost forced to make porn film … ENTERTAINMENT: Schwarzenegger museum, Sizemore ends probation, Shearer wants a cut of Simpsons, Thornton’s daughter arrested, fetish group wants Grace fart footage, Jobs’ death means an increase in turtleneck sales … Obama Obama Obama....


  • Thursday, October 6th, 2011

    ....Steve Jobs is dead … Occupy Portland may screw up downtown … Palin not running … SCIENCE:  Depp ocean seismic network, real flying carpet, monkey mind control … Amanda Knox at undisclosed loication …  Woman attacked by crow … Missing teen’s body found … 71-year-old “chick” and man arrested for sex in car … Boca Raton nixes Halloween show … Obama calls again for jobs bill … Man attacks cops with sword and electrified door … ENTERTAINMENT:  Lohan not cutting, more Murray trial, Hank Williams, Jr. song off ESPN...


  • Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

    ....Woman killed by son and girlfriend … Burglar leaves car on MAX tracks … Photographer electrocuted during soft-core shoot … Pot grow found near Estacada … Roger Ailes hired Sarah Palin “because she was hot” … Citibank raises fees and minimum balance on checking … Obama gets mad … SCIENCE:  Fat teenas stay up late, new side airbag, India announces cheap tablet for poor … Congress wants NFL to test players already … Man who sold ads on his funeral urns dies … Jobs rally in D.C. … ENTERTAINMENT:  Forensica analyst testifies about Conrad Murray’s phone, Netflix and Hulu bid on Arrested Development, Amazon sells Brooks Blu-rays cheap, Sean Penn in Libya, Playboy Club cancelled and Cibrian injured, Depp apologizes, Pawn Stars guy arrested … Helicopter crash in New York...


  • Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

    ....Knox conviction overturned … Pedestrian killed in hit-and-run … Fire at Texas chemical plant … Sting bamboozles fugitives … Obama promises jobs again … Senator Schumer gets tough with China … Michael Jackson trial app … Yemen bombs own troops … SCIENCE:  African contraceptives faulty, nobody’s going to space, another ozone hole, Nobel Prize update, Paris launches electric car-share … Assault results after Facebook massage miscommunication … Dogs sniff out prison cell phones ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Simmons married, Waltz injured, Cooper saddened, Wilde divorced, theater fined, Bono dances, The Simpsons negotiate, Tyler visits Portland … Man says driving drunk is okay since he didn’t hit anyone...


  • Monday, October 3rd, 2011

    ....TriMet driver kicks mom and crying baby off bus … Wall Street protestors lured onto bridge, arrested … Mexico City considers short-term marriages … Nobel awards prize to dead guy … Man shoves snake poop in girlfriend’s mouth … Taco Bell employees robbed … SCIENCE: New material is blacker than black, forests protect climate, Mercury’s got holes, beetles get busy with beer bottles … Buffett says “Buffett Rule” isn’t what he meant … Hooters accuses rival of stealing secrets … Ladies fight fires … ENTERTAINMENT: Yahoo and ABC join forces … More Conrad Murray stuff …. ENTERTAINMENT: Arrested Development news, Justified talk to Kentucky cops, T.I. and Taylor Swift preform, Tupac sex tape....


  • Friday, September 30th, 2011

    ....Crews search gravel pit for man … Military chaplain to perform same-sex ceremonies … Radical cleric killed in Yemen airstrike … Lettuce recalled … BofA to charge $5 a month for debit cards … Bloomberg pushes immigration reform … Bush-era logging plan may be trashed … SCIENCE:  AlphaDog robot, EPA cut corners on greenhouse reports, Ig Nobel winners, Woman arrested for driving golf cart drunk … Man catches scary-big catfish … Portland bike safety project … ENTERTAINMENT:  Jack Osbourne engaged, Harris auctions Hef’s ring, Steve Martin wins bluegrass award, more Conrad Murray news....


  • Thursday, September 29th, 2011

    ....Cops standoff with man with rifle … Panera Bread discover Portlanders are freeloaders … Girl poisoned after drinking hand sanitizer … It’s National Coffee Day … Onion scares people with tweets … Tainted cantaloupes … SCIENCE:  Kennedy Space Center to be rebuilt, climate change could shrink animals, flies get sexy when they smell food, rat gets artificial cerebellum … Number of suicides increase in Oregon … Man kills his AA sponsor … More on SAT cheating scandal … ENTERTAINMENT:  Eazy-E’s sone wants to play him in movie, Courtney Love memoir, Conrad Murray’s mysterious cream, Artie Lange’s radio show, WB launches show on Facebook … How Portland residents commute....


  • Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

    ....Gang member sentenced for shooting at marshal … Alabama senator apologizes for calling blacks “aborigines”… Portland rated number six best food city … Cold warehouse helps save man’s life … Kids’ took kits recalled … Jersey governor vetoes “Snooki subsidy” … Employee steals watch, then wears it to work … Dr. Conrad Murray trial news … Man dies of spontaneous combustion … SCIENCE:  Satellite falls, coffee may help depression, new cheaper Kindle, big-headed spider … SAT cheating ring … YouTube to launch web-TV channels … Drugs on Mexican border still … ENTERTAINMENT:  Dancing with the Stars update, less gay characters on TV, Moore and Kutcher tweet less, movie set catches fire … Old man throws urine on porch to keep kids away … Boy bitten by rabid bat at school....


  • Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

    ....Missing Cycle Oregon volunteer could be anywhere … Obama at House of Blues … Mystery object smashes car windows … Washington Monument closed … Piranha caught in Texas lake … SCIENCE:  Brown dwarfs, weight of stars, “Earth Overshoot Day,” aquariums make fish angry … Grim Reaper Cheesehead annoys Wisconsinites … Nudists protest in San Francisco … Pit Bull saves woman from ditch … DeGeneres chest-pain scare, Palin’ attorney threatens lawsuit, Leisha Hailey kicked off plane for kissing, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees....


  • Monday, September 26th, 2011

    ....Firefighters lift truck off a guy … SUV crashes into Christmas store … Europe is destroying everything … Straw poll news … Man assaults girl while dressed as Winnie-the-Pooh … Saudi women to vote … Masked men rob home … SCIENCE:  Japan’s rice is radioactive, Nyad stops swimming because of jellyfish, Germans promise 3D TV without glasses, scientists turn brain activity into movies … Dog survives fall into sewage … Army to cut troops … ENTERTAINMENT:  Pink Floyd pig flies again, Taylor Lautner goes to London, Lady Gaga talks to President, London district mad at Britney … Obama’s comment about Perry makes no sense....


  • Friday, September 23rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Woman dies after driving into Willamette … Powell’s fires managers … SCIENCE:  Near-death experience explained, Watson comes in peace … Kittens fell from van … U.N. walks out on speech …  Obama and Rand Paul talk bridges … ENTERTAINMENT:  New manager on The Office,  Travolta visits Gotti widow....


  • Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ........

  • Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....American hikers freed in Iran … Escaped mental patient captured … Harry Reid says governemtn may shut down … Palin still playing coy … Couple abduct their eight, identically-named, children  … Headstone left at Goodwill … Book about Obama is unflattering … Man blames Viagra for indecent exposure … MacArthur grants handed out … SCIENCE:  BP oil not degrading, trial against scientists, sea squid are bisexual … Teens don’t mind vulgar slurs … Clinton says we need to take responsibility … ENTERTAINMENT:  Gosling retiring, Pattinson not recording, Gayle King lawsuit, Cowell talks X Factor, Tony Bennett apologizes for 9/11 remarks, Steve Martin advises Eddie Murphy....

  • Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man shoots, cremates dad … Don ‘t Ask, Don’t Tell is over … Cycle Oregon volunteer missing … Debt reduction plan, blahblahblah … 800-pound stuffed bear stolen … SCIENCE:  Galaxy smear, suicide by roller coaster, NASA worker build trike … SeaWorld hearings begin … Ausiie airman dies in exploding portable toilet … Portland ends busy filming season … Buzz Aldrin catting around with younger lady … Georgia to hold execution … ENTERTAINMENT:  Kutcher sets record, Sizemore arrested again, Fleischer joins CNN, Lea Michele split, Hope’s widow dies, Sting turns 60....

  • Monday, September 19th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Woman in wreck with cop … Obama’s tax cut proposal … Netflix to split into two companies … Teen killed while playing with shotgun … Fiberglass giraffe stolen … WWII-era plane crashes at airshow … Crane falls on nursing home … SCIENCE:  Overconfidence is competitive, daily deal sites may not be good for businesses, falling satellite parts, conjoined twins separated, search for “Snoopy,” new dino found …Giant bratwurst made … Five die at biker fest … Palestinians want to join UN … Bomb threat on Alaska flight … Intruders take pics of themselves … Father and daughter burned while “stealing” electricity … ENTERTAINMENT:  Morgan engaged, Frances Bay dies, Artest changes name, Fxc suit dropped, Da Silva guilty of rape, Emmy Awards....

  • Friday, September 16th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Police make record drug bust … Boehner doesn’t like jobs bill … Giant smail invasion … Faith-healing defense … John Deere recalls tractors … Cat finds way home … SCIENCE:  Fussy baby brains, medieval zombies, NASA discovers planet with two suns, jellyfish are the new shark … Hero dog wins award … ENTERTAINMENT:  Rooney’s son sues, Manilow likes Ron Paul, Cage burglar has Fudgesicle, McCartney to wed, Sheen not mad, Winfrey unveils O’Donnell show … Man smuggles reptiles in pants....

  • Thursday, September 15th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man carjacked responding to Craigslist ad … Tacomsing HIV to cure cancer, a teachers defy court order … People see fireball … Postman saves woman … $11K for proof that Bachmann’s wrong … Bad housing news … SCIENCE:  Glowing worms, Dr. Oz is wrong about juice, salmon may all die, Ford’s Internet cars, Petrified Forest adds land … Amish jailed for refusing safety triangles … CDC links Listeria to cantaloupes … ENTERTAINMENT:  Jackson estate to distribute money, Winkler gets honor, Simon sues Pinkberry, rapper won’t wear Back to the Future shoes, Saahil not kidnapped, America’s Got Talent chooses winner, Netflix lowers subscriber forecast....

  • Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Mental patient posts to Facebook, escapes … Old woman arrested for stealing cookies … Obama’s jobs plan … TSA plan to screen children … Palin’s one-night stand … Metal thieves overload truck … Colleges ranked … Corn maze celebrates Timbers … SCIENCE:  Vicious chicks, diabetes run amok, canaries are crafty, NASA still in the game, why laughing feels good, airships! … Woman wants to keep bobcats … Conjoined twins separated … ENTERTAINMENT:  Johanssen’s nekkid pics, Bruno lawsuit, Paul Michale Glaser plays golf, stiffs kid, reality show suit, Sarah Paulson on  American Horror Story … Perry speaks, and gave a lot of money to Merck … Guy pulled out of grain bin....

  • Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Monday, September 12th, 2011

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    ....Off-duty cop arrested for DUI … 9/11 anniversary … Driver survives 2 x 2 through chest … Big rig dumps 40,000 cans of beer … Suspicious item closes airport terminal … Wrong-way driver dies … SCIENCE:  Breast-feeding mothers are hostile, glowing cats created, tiny microscope tophat for mice, Spongebob makes kids slow, HMO to use IBM’s “Watson” … Activists demand freedom for giant croc … Gas proices up again … Southwest flight diverted because man uses bathroom flight … Facebook doubles first-half revenues … Massive gator pulled from lake … Soft drug use up, hard drugs down … ENTERTAINMENT:  Serena Williams outburst, Simpson stalker writes book, “Rowdy”Roddy Piper gets surgery, fire at Nicholson’s house, Spartacus star dies, All My Children star dies … Man shoots at snake and hits himself … Balloon lands in Salem....


  • Friday, September 9th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Big Jim Willig subs for Rick Emerson.  Worker mistake blacks out San Diego … Man crashes truck into post office … Gynecological room found in Qadaffi lair … County tries to block music festival … Birthday bowling for Kyron … Woman dies after hot beef injection … SCIENCE: Too much exercise can hurt you, Google’s energy consumption, satellite will plummet to earth … Dutch woman calls ex 65,000 times … ENTERTAINMENT:  Bob Dylan art exhibit, Bono is a proud American, Jews don’t want Gibson to make Maccabee movie, Violent J is ripped off, Broadway to honor 9/11....


  • Thursday, September 8th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Shooting in Nevada … Heat advisory for Portland … Weatherman found in hot tub with dead guy … Couple take suspicious pictures … Bike share program … Win a baby on the radio … Cops nail school-zone speeders … SCIENCE:  Venusian ozone, new star, how the brain sees places, bacteria on Mars rover … Naked seating in San Francisco … ENTERTAINMENT:  Murphy to host Oscars, Les Paul monument, Tara Reid is scary, Billy Joe Armstrong kicked off plane....

  • Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Monday, September 5th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Enjoy this installment of The Best of Legion of News!

    ....Portland to discourage scented city workers … Hillary Clinton says “there’s no app” for freedom … DUI drivers to be marked with special plates … Two Georgia students fail to “respect the cave” … Earthquakes near Mount St. Helens … Science:  Obama and House clash over science budgets, there may be a new planet, Monarch butterflies doing better … Boeing unveils new plane … Berlosconi on trial for sex with underage prostitutes … Man threatens to cut off girlfriend’s head for Valentine’s Day … 1,700 sturgeon found hiding at Bonneville Dam … Entertainment:  El DeBarge in rehab, Gordon Ramsay says something about something, Jersey Shore jerk charged with a crime, Portlandia is renewed, Elizabeth Taylor in hospital, sucky Spider-Man musical makes money, Jennifer Aniston has a new movie.....

  • Friday, September 2nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Car thief tries to buy ride home … Qaddafi says “Let Libya burn” … Oregon beaches full of poo … Obama halts smog regulation … Man in chicken suit attacked … Woman crawls out of swamp … Katia is now a hurricane … Sheriff likes Batman … Girl finds skeleton parts … Man calls cops to complain about hooker … Man uses iPad app to track thieves … SCIENCE:  Yellow eyes get less sleep, Black Death bacteria extinct, space junk, kids need to play, Ned Kelly’s body found … Man drinks 30 beers and crashes car … First-ever gay military magazine published … Scientologists lash out at New Yorker … Prize offered for oldest fridge … ENTERTAINMENT:  Mel B’s baby, March Anthony’s non-affair, Mortensen wants more Jung letters, T.I. back in the pokey already, man says Seagal killed his puppy, Tupac;s pals smoked his ashes....

  • Thursday, September 1st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Tigard residents want to keep beaver dam … Water main breaks … Police horse drops dead in front of tourists … Minorities becoming majority … Authorities want to dose Loughner … Six-foot boa found in Albuquerque … Obama speaks to vets … Seattle drivers suck, says Allstate … Marine can’t get citizenship … SCIENCE:  Increase in celiac disease, dolphin communication, new hurricane brewing, getting rid of cane toads … JC Penney pulls stupid t-shirt … ENTERTAINMENT:  Milano gives birth, Gibson settle with ex, actor claims airline bigotry, Schwimmer defends Chaz Bono....

  • Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Founder of Zupan’s Markets dies in crash … Mosquitoes with West Nile virus reported … Crops damaged in North Carolina … No more free TriMet rides … Hay truck fire closes freeway … Stupid Osama logging shirt … SCIENCE:  Anti-diarrhea compounds, alert level on Alaska volcano. Dolphins invent eating trick, NASA asteroid practice … Two-headed cow … Gay people love Johnson City … ENTERTAINMENT:  Bieber’s car crash, T.I. out of prison, porn actor found with HIV, Treme actor drowns, Honey Boy Edwards dies, O’Neill’s star, Helms’ stunt double sues....

  • Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Wildfire on Mt. Hood … Clerk thwarts Subway robbery … Hurrican Irene on way out … Germany stops chasing fugitive cow … Man blows up bee hive … Warren Jeffs in coma … Hood to Coast deemed too big … Man rescued after falling off cliff … Dow up a bit … SCIENCE:  Panda poop key to biofuel, Russia postpones space launch, suitcase fission reactors on Mars, noise pollution makes birds sing higher, lupin-based ice cream … Man on bicycle with sword … Vacationer torn apart by sharks … Worst cop ever shoots and transgendered people … ENTERTAINMENT:  Sebastian Bach loses house to hurricane, Castro has a kid, Daryl Hannah arrested, Chaz Bono and Nancy Grace on Dancing with the Stars, Patti Smith and Kronos Quartet get award, George Clooney out of Man From U.N.C.L.E., new Playboy Club in Chicago....

  • Monday, August 29th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Lockerbie bomber near death … Man arrested wearing only underwear … Hurricane Irene recovery to begin … Man killed by tree while camping during hurricane … Man stabs a guy on MAX tracks … Colin Powell says Cheney took cheap shots … Six hurt in Salem kerfuffle … Wells Fargo phishing scam … Rabid bat menaces Indianapolis … Rebels reject Qaddafi negotiation … SCIENCE:  Gen Xers like their phones, Neanderthal legs, endangered crocodiles hatched, NASA may have empty space station, human brains hardwired to respond to animals, Al Gore says we should treat climate change naysayers like racists … New creepy Austrian incest case … Indiana soldier arrested night before his homecoming parade … Gas prices not going up from hurricane … ENTERTAINMENT:  Matthew Fox beats up bus driver, Tom Jones cancels concert, MTV Video Award news … Woman and granddaughter injured on log flume ride … Worker’s leg crushed at Pepsi plant … Pantsless man has mop and bucket.....

  • Friday, August 26th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Thursday, August 25th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Newberg hotel explodes … Portland man uses jujitsu to defend home … Oregon man loses arm in car accident … Starbucks’ CEO withholds political contributions … Woman’s breast implant ruptures during paintball … Memorial service for wing walker … Portland cop accused of road rage … Steve Jobs resigns as Apple CEO … SCIENCE: Fiddler crab claws,  8.74 million species on Earth, German electric car breaks record … Man robs bank, returns money … Illegal BMX track … FEMA readies for hurricane … ENTERTAINMENT:  Esther Gordy dies, Armstrong memorial, Bateman’s second child, Sara Gilbert’s breakup, Redmond O’Neal sentenced, William Petersen twins, Will Smith marriage is okay, Keith Richards sells a million books … Rove says Palin should make up her mind … Man stuff snakes in pants … College asks applicants’ sexual orientation....


  • Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....It's another exciting installment of The Best of Legion of News!...

  • Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Police recover stolen goat … Libyan rebels take Gadhafi compound … Judge dismisses Strauss-Kahn charges … American hikers sentenced in Iran … Earthquake on east coast … Hurricane on the way … SCIENCE: Boys mature earlier, Google Street View in the Amazon, pod cars at Heathrow, throwable robots … Huntsman says he’d be VP … Reptiles saved from hoarders … ENTERTAINMENT: Affleck and Garner breed again, Faison engaged, Wahlberg gets underwear contract, no drugs in Winehouse autopsy, Letterman jokes about jihad, Joe Francis in jail again … Dog eats diamonds … Garbage truck catches fire … Man see Jesus in tree....

  • Monday, August 22nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Search for Qaddafi … Man falls out of convertible … Teen tries to take cop’s gun
    … Burger King dumps the King … Zach Randolph’s home searched … Hurricane Irene
    on the way … Girls jokingly rob liquor store … SCIENCE:  Humanoid robot,
    vegetative brains, oldest fossil found, PayPal founder’s floating libertarian
    city … Reagan aide calls Rick Perry an idiot … Woman falls off raft and drowns …
    Ford and Toyota talking about hybrid SUVs … ENTERTAINMENT:  Letterman back at
    work, Gallagher brothers’ lawsuit, Kardashian wedding, Estella Warren Dui, Grimm
    filming in Portland, Winslet flees fire at Branson’s house … Man knocked
    unconscious with beer can....


  • Friday, August 19th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Thursday, August 18th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Portland trucker run over by his own truck … Four men robbed after meeting man on chat line … Russia loses satellite … Bomb squad called to park … Woman attacks husband with basil plant … Fireworks confused for birthday candles … Bachmann staff still shoving reporters … US ambassador carries own bags, charms China … Tobacco companies file suit over gross mandatory images … Man arrested for smuggling bear paws … OSU students not eating enough vegetables … SCIENCE: Drought to continue, transplant pioneer dies, new skin cancer drug, man killed by vampire bat, GOP attack EPA … Soccer played laid out by bobblehead … Couple charged with hoarding 700 cats … ENTERTAINMENT:  Kors married,  Armstrong death ruled suicide, World War Z shooting in Glasgow, O’Donnell walks out on Piers Morgan....


  • Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Suspect caught with school laptops … Rapper ties up Compton Sheriff’s phone …
    Rafters trash river … Pioneer cemetery discovered … Father punches daughter at
    birthday party … Man arrested fro nude fishing … SCIENCE:  In-car avatar, PSU
    opens block of charging stations, fat dogs are colder … Taco Bell worker
    handcuffs himself to girl … Nursing home workers arrested for greasing up
    patients … ENTERTAINMENT:  Federline procreates again, Depardieu urinates on
    plane, Amazon signs self-help author, Abercrombie & Fitch pays  “The Situation”
    to stop wearing their clothes, 11-year-old honorary mayor renames street after
    Bieber … German boy calls cops over housework … Students pass out pot brownies
    at band camp....


  • Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Dad drowns saving child … Man decapitates son … YWCA closed due to gas cloud …
    Naked woman arrested in hotel hallway … Karl Rove criticizes Perry’s “treason”
    remark … OSP officer fires gun in house … Fire destroys Milwaukie playground
    equipment … iCarly start postpones zoo concert … Flash mob robs 7-11 … Law
    school students sue alma maters … SCIENCE: LED lights power wifi, white dwarfs,
    NASA probe, SETI reboot … “Collar Bomber” captured … Police recover Rembrandt
    sketch … ENTERTAINMENT:  Jackson promoter boot KISS from concert, Mellencamp
    divorced, Real Housewives husband commits suicide, Jay-Z spends money, Taylor
    Lautner and Gus Van Sant go see Cirque du Soleil.....


  • Monday, August 15th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Mom hits pedophile in face … Bridge Pedal happens … Michelle Bachmann carries straw poll … Indiana State Fair stage collapses … Bonneville bear put down … Dog missing for a year reunites with owners … Woman wakes up to find blimp in her yard … SCIENCE:  Virtual rats, electronic tattoos, methane concentrations hold steady, teenage receives bionic arm from Mercedes … Crews clean up condemned cat-corpse home … “Bath salt” user gets tased … Warren Buffett says “mega-rich” should pay their share … ENTERTAINMENT: Duff pregnant, Alba and Fey give birth, Behar marries, Locklear engaged, and Lady Gaga is Santa Claus....


  • Friday, August 12th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Darcelle arrested for pushing OLCC officers … GOP candidates slapfight … Bear spotted at Bonneville hatchery … Man who peed on girl was on U.S. ski team … Two more e. Coli cases …Two bicyclists hit by SUV …  Chimp-ripped woman’s face transplant revealed … Bert and Ernie aren’t gay … SCIENCE: Spermless mosquitoes, cars as Internet nodes, soy drinkers more boy-like, malaria mosquitoes … Casey Anthony “most hated person in America” … ENTERTAINMENT:  Sondheim slams Porgy and Bess, Lohan’s crystals, Kings of Leon firing (or not) singer, Baldwin back with wife....


  • Thursday, August 11th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....UK violence eases … Mitt Romney heckled … Police capture crime-spree siblings … “Trojan T-shirts” change message aimed at right-wing Germans … SCIENCE:  You can help the Large Hadron Collider, Scientists redesign nematode genes, era of PCs coming to an end, new cancer treatment .. West Linn barbecue fire … German etiquette group advises against workplace kissing … ENTERTAINMENT: Jagger sings Sanskrit, a-ha to reunite for Norway, Monkees cancel tour, Amazon skirts iPad rules with Kindle reader....


  • Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Elderly man dragged from burning mobile home … Woman dies in recycling bin … Doctor in The Dalles accused of sex abuse … Congress picking “super committee” … Back-to-school shopping means people are shopping … Portugal. The Man’s van found, equipment still missing … Oregon Zoo releases turtles … SCIENCE:  Alaskan mystery goo, “living” spinal discs, apnea tied to dementia, ancient insects found … Man picnics in Wal-mart bathroom … ENTERTAINMENT: Paul Stanley’s new child, Baldwin’s mayoral run, Hulk Hogan ready to help London, Kardashian’s novel, Rebecca Black pulled out of public school....


  • Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Woman swerves to miss possum, hits pole … Couple in hot tub overheated … Man arrested for beating brother-in-law to death … Sex offender arrested dressed as Cookie Monster … E.coli linked to strawberries … Riots spread beyond London … Portland band has equipment stolen … Inmate on suicide watch dies after eating toilet paper … Warren Jeffs sentenced to life in prison … SCIENCE:  Flexible electricity, DNA doesn’t match D.B. Cooper, virus moving from nose to brain, wildlife groups boycott elephant sentence … Alligator wrangled in neighborhood … Spilled oil burns down home … Curfew for teenagers in Philadelphia … Man gets uterus removed … ENTERTAINMENT:  Shaq porn-tape case dropped, Arnie’s cigar, Teen Mom arrested, Snoop pleads guilty … Diana Nyad drops Cuba-Florida swim … Double-amputee to race in world championship … Woman loses three fingers trying to wake boyfriend with fireworks....


  • Monday, August 8th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Sen. Mark Hatfield dies at 89 … Voodoo Doughnuts sets record … Gang gunfire in NW Portland … Grand Canyon tourist hit by lightning … Obama says “pish tosh” about credit rating … Two dead in salem hot tub … Inmate stabs guard wi9th pencil … Donald Trump offers financial advice … Pittsburgh zoo waiting for elephant semen … Giant sawdust fire in Longview … SCIENCE:  Blue shark found dead in the woods, 20-million-year-old ape skull, Captain Morgan’s ship found, ozone, antibiotics, mouse stem-cell semen, statins reduce risk of second stroke … Victim shoots robbers at Applebee’s … Thieves steal copper valves … Men in panda suits … ENTERTAINMENT: Allman’s illness, Big Boi’s Viagra, Neil’s trial delayed, Lucille Ball’s birthday....


  • Friday, August 5th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ........

  • Thursday, August 4th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....36 million pounds of turkey recalled … Wu resigns … Car crashes into TriMet bus … Three bicyclists hit by truck … Two children injured by campsite bear … Possible gunman on Virginia Tech campus … Mike Huckabee’s cartoon … Warren Jeffs on trial … 911 dispatchers prepped for Batman calls … Woman says she’s D.B. Cooper’s uncle … SCIENCE: President approves preventative services, toilet plants, echo plants, water on Mars … No explosives on teen’s collar bomb … Man attacks neighbor with rake … Injured hiker used tip from movie to survive … Sex offender pours boiling water on a guy … Serbian tennis pro sent to wrong state … Justice Department nixes Alabama immigration law … ENTERTAINMENT: Snow White-movie director, Piers Morgan mum on hacking, Faye Dunaway slams “slumlord,” Winfrey to get Oscar....

  • Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Protestors arrested at forestry office … Campsite suspect turns himself in … Debt deal signed … Atheists want to remove Trade Center cross … Florida cop saves drowning. Hallucinating man … Sentencing begins for serial killer … Bus idles for five hours with dead driver … SCIENCE: Bacteria in belly buttons, NASA probes asteroid, birds massage each other, Space Needle contest … Protestors heckle Boehner … Coast Guard recovers submarine with $180 million worth of cocaine … Woman dies from fall at casino … ENTERTAINMENT:  Bachelorette picks a guy, Two and a Half Men to premiere with Sheen funeral, Matt Damon likes teachers … Man finds (and returns) $16,000......

  • Monday, August 1st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Estacada school board chair died from overdose … Boehner still clinging to House bill … Americans less fond of beer … Fire cause $2 million damage at aviation museum … Hitler cat needs a home … Nation’s GDP pretty much the same … Washington may privatize liquor sales … SCIENCE: Republicans want to destroy the environment, Tylenol causes kidney failure, scientist suspended for noticing dead polar bears … Tucson man advertises for child sex … Octomom says she was drugged when she consented to 12 embryos … Twitter to display more ads … ENTERTAINMENT: Record stores annoyed about Jay-Z/Kanye release, Flynt’s offer to Casey Anthony, beating at McGraw concert, Belafonte disappointed in Obama, Andy Dick on trial......

  • Friday, July 29th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Estacada school board chair died from overdose … Boehner still clinging to House bill … Americans less fond of beer … Fire cause $2 million damage at aviation museum … Hitler cat needs a home … Nation’s GDP pretty much the same … Washington may privatize liquor sales … SCIENCE: Republicans want to destroy the environment, Tylenol causes kidney failure, scientist suspended for noticing dead polar bears … Tucson man advertises for child sex … Octomom says she was drugged when she consented to 12 embryos … Twitter to display more ads … ENTERTAINMENT: Record stores annoyed about Jay-Z/Kanye release, Flynt’s offer to Casey Anthony, beating at McGraw concert, Belafonte disappointed in Obama, Andy Dick on trial......

  • Thursday, July 28th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Armed man uses child as shield … Teen found with fractured skull … Debt bill up for vote … Man kills guy with car, beats his chest … DSK accuser speaks, sort of … One-handed boxer sues TSA … Man robs cupcake store with syringe … Oregon to issue mussel checks … Ford can’t get dashboards for Focus … Fire pit starts Beaverton house fire … SCIENCE:  Oldest bird no more, lady ants find sperm somehow, weasels store unripe fruit, scientists quiz lab-grown brain … Elderly mayor says she didn’t grow pot … ENTERTAINMENT: Joe Peci suit, angry heavy-metal preacher, Netflix may lost 15 percent......

  • Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Fight leads to stabbing at Gresham skate park … Postal Service to close 3,700 post offices … School shut down after meth found everywhere … Handcuffed man jumps in river … Breivik had no collaborators, police say … Facebook to expand Oregon data center … Warren Jeffs on trial … Smoking banned in public housing … Woman sues man for giving her herpes … SCIENCE:  Dog has horse virus, time travel not possible, lost 1967 spaceship found on moon, sea lion kill revoked … TSA agent harasses driver … Casey Anthony to be paid obscenely well for interview … 72-year-old ex-Marine runs over robber … ENTERTAINMENT: Blair’s baby, Matarazzo’s wedding, Hefner’s sex habits......

  • Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Rep. Wu to resign … Masked robber hits Plaid Pantry … NFL lockout is over … Grizzly mauls teenagers … Climber falls from Beacon Rock … Home found for anaconda … L.A. traffic cop fired for being in porn film … Bachmann’s district high in teens suicides … SCIENCE: Stranded gray whales, landmine-eating robot, pork butchers get more cancer, flying car … Feinstein wants to repeal DOMA … Dollywood worker targets guest’s T-shirt … Hillary Clinton’s name is funny … McDonald’s to make Happy Meals “healthier” … Man in drag shoots guy at dice game … ENTERTAINMENT:  Winehouse buried, James and Von D break up, Jackson trial, Meester sues mom, Kardashian sues Old Navy … “Ultimate Fighter” taunts guy at party, gets beaten to death.....

  • Monday, July 25th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Congressman Wu in trouble again … Norway shooter in court … New rules for Willamette boaters … Home invasion involves zip ties, baseball bats and swords … Amy Winehouse dies … Washington authorities look for coyote with jar on its head … Palin still a factor in GOP race … SCIENCE: Drug prices to drop, scientists invent things we don’t understand, fingerprint drug testing … Zoo apprentice resigns after accidentally killing giraffe … Billboard says hot dogs cause cancer … Whole Foods worker e-mails 2,000-word resignation …  Downtown street closed to traffic … ENTERTAINMENT: Linda Christian does, Sunny co-stars expecting, Chris Evans is insecure, Timberlake’s throat, Kid Rock’s strippers … Man with pellet gun tasered by cops....

  • Friday, July 22nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    We're joined by Mr. Todd Werkhoven, holding it down for the absent Dawn Taylor.

  • Thursday, July 21st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    A truly fantastic show, on which we're joined by Mr. Eric D. Snider, ably filling in for the absent Dawn Taylor.

  • Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man gets away with murder because he’s drunk … Bachmann has migraines/ her  thugs beat up a reporter … Heather Mallory husband to get life in prison … Man illegally sells monkey online … House and Senates still arguing over debt ceiling … American Airlines gets new planes … SCIENCE:  Tiny moon found behind Pluto, Atlantis set to land, heat wave grows toxic algae, device cloaks time … L.A. ordinance says dogs that chase people can be put down … NYC to hold lottery for first day of same-sex marriages … New home construction up slightly … Couple steal steaks from Walmart … Columbia student headed for Rikers for drug selling … ENTERTAINMENT:  Betty White not going to Marine ball, Lopez sings at wedding, Pussycat Dolls singer not engaged, R. Kelly’s tonsils, Roku to include ‘Angry Birds’ on new box …Californis ia’ssuing handicapped placards to dead people …Naked man brandishes gun, yells at river....

  • Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Teenager kills parents, then has party … Marijuana thieves slam into garage … William Shatner kicked off Google+ … Parliament skeptical that Murdoch unaware of hacking … Man may have killed family then set house on fire … Gay conservatives still want to work with Bachmann … Interstate Bridge lift today … Borders bookstores to close … Man pleasure himself in Walmart bathroom … SCIENCE:  Robotic octopus, possums aren’t poisoned by snakes, new flexible display screen, penguins smell dead krill, Atlantis astronauts tortured with Coldplay, extreme heat killing pot crops … Woman arrested at her own wedding … Clinton says Obama should just raise the debt ceiling and make GOP sue him … ENTERTAINMENT:  Tim Robbins releases album, Phillippe dating Lovato, Sheen has new series, promising new FX horror-drama … Japan to ban Fukushima beef … Naked woman found in pipe … Drunk postman hoards mail....

  • Monday, July 18th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Friday, July 15th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Thursday, July 14th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Daniel Baldwin’s wife arrested … Fred Meyer employees sue over grope-y customer … More on the debt debacle … Wal-Mart to open stores … Number of Hispanic Americans growing … Man encourages kids to pet alligator … Murdoch refuses to testify about hacking, U.S. concerned about American targets … SCIENCE:  Super bees, Michael Stipe, three-legged dogs, and human-yeast gelatin … Florida man randomly shoots gun ... Keizer man guilty of stabbing girlfriend at parade … Tea Party hates manatees … ENTERTAINMENT: Vanilla Ice divorced, Olivia Wilde thinks divorce made her a better actress, Emmy nominations....

  • Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]



  • Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Texting driver slams into pole … Man survives 300-foot fall … Crackdown on sale of high-powered rifles … Woman attacked in hate crime … Tree surgeon almost beheads himself … No peeing where mountain goats are located … CIA staged fake vaccine program to catch Osama … SCIENCE:  Snails eaten by birds survive, last spacewalk, men with untrustworthy faces, “July Effect” at hospitals … Man accidentally shot with live ammo may be permanently maimed … Man poses as chick on Facebook to get boys’ pictures … Burglar leaves dog behind … More on debt-ceiling negotiations … ENTERTAINMENT: Kunis to go on date with Marine, Fogerty’s writing slump, Paisley and Underwood to host CMAs, new movie with Statham and Chiklis....

  • Monday, July 11th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Friday, July 8th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....NASA’s last shuttle takes off … Five hurt in Pamplona bull run … Beaverton dog saves people from fire … Seven killed in Grand Rapids shooting … Snake causes power outage … Woman dies at Rainbow Gathering … TriMet gives $2 million to Portland Spirit cruise ship … Plane crashes into hospital … Teenager injured after he puts fireworks in coffee grinder … SCIENCE: First synthetic organ implanted, massage is better than pills, researchers find caffeine spot in brain, coke users have different gray matter … Baseball fan dies after falling from stands … Nancy Pelosi talks debt … ENTERTAINMENT: Backstreet Boy engaged, Bow Wow’s a dad, Falling Skies renewed, ABC soaps move to web.....


  • Thursday, July 7th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Ex-students charge they were abused at boarding school … News of the World shuts down … Grizzly kills Yellowstone hiker … Bar has new restrictions … Casey Anthony free next week … Man sentenced for smuggling lizards … Country proposes new library tax … Tiger-suited man sues PGA for being kicked out … Fort Hood shooter faces death penalty … Woman puts antifreeze in man’s smoothie … SCIENCE:  Pollinators make food, happy orangutans live longer, pirates disrupting data collection, male spiders assess hunger of females before mating … Mitt Romney leading GOP fundraising … Horse rescued by crane … DUI suspect licks cop’s keyboard … Verizon drops unlimited data plans … Man douse Wal-mart in lighter fluid because a bunny and Satan told him to … ENTERTAINMENT: Timberlake and Biel back on, Vivid takes back Casey Anthony offer, Anthony Hopkins writes a waltz, Spader on The Office, Elizabeth Smart on ABC News … Woman runs over man fixing her car … Polish man lives in Sao Paulo airport for 18 days.....


  • Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man dresses like lady, chats up kids at pool … Casey Anthony found not guilty … News Corp. phone-hacking case … Coney Island hot dog contest … Molalla man shot after being mistaken for cougar … Oregon man arrested for threatening Obama … Shelters getting scared dogs and cats … Man jumps off roof, misses pool … SCIENCE: Massive wombat found, DNA tests on stranded penguins, terrorists putting bombs in people, environment partly responsible for autism … Facebook announces video chat feature … Record donations at Blues Festival … New York store band drunk dog-buying … California passes gay history proposal … Canadian man takes 11 weeks of sick leave because of “scent sensitivity” … ENTERTAINMENT: Top-paid actresses, Gordon-Levitt publishing, Sutherland single, Lady Antebellum singer engaged, Hilton’s stalker, lawsuit over elephant … RCMP officers brawl with Hells Angels....


  • Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Fourth of July injury round-up … NFL lock-out still on … iPhone app leads to thieves arrest … Hackers report Obama death on Fox News Twitter … Hazmat crews at Taco Bell … Bob Hope Classic drops Hope’s name … Hugo Chavez comes home … SCIENCE:  Japan’s radioactive soil, glaciers melting, plastics can cause diabetes, NASA’s new space plans, bananas are inbred … Elderly gay rights advocate kisses hateful preacher … Tiger Woods’ Japanese commercial … Burglary, sex, pepper spray … ENTERTAINMENT:  Cruise’s birthday, Radcliffe’s drinking, Bow Wow’s child, Cage’s son arrested....


  • Monday, July 4th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Enjoy this presentation of The Best of Legion of News, and we'll return live on Tuesday, July 5th, friends and neighbors......


  • Friday, July 1st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Cop fires pellets instead of beanbag … Chavez has tumor removed … NASA wants to touch an asteroid … IMF head may not be rape-y …  Man assaults woman on sidewalk … Scorpion sting airline passenger … SCIENCE:  Panda poo, pens that write circuitry, Japanese sex dolls used in dental schools, the brain likes puns … Minnesota shuts down state government … FEC grants Stephen Colbert’s PAC request … Fast food chains selling booze … Philippine mayor punches sheriff in face .. ENTERTAINMENT:  ‘Macho Man’ death ruled heart disease, Rhys Meyers hospitalized, Duchovny and Leoni separate, Petty tells Bachmann she can’t use his song......


  • Thursday, June 30th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Chris Hansen caught in sting … Portland American Idol auditions … Glenn Beck
    says he was harassed at the movies … FDA pulls approval of breast cancer drug …
    Portland police to crack down on cell phones … MSNBC analyst suspended for
    calling Obama a “dick” … Conjugal right for gay NY inmates … SCIENCE: Hairs on
    bat wings, light from shrimp sex, wasps that lay eggs inside beetles, kids
    design high-MPG cars … “Rainbow gathering” in national forest … Pentagon says
    goodbye to Gates … ENTERTAINMENT: Lohan released from house arrest, Lady Gaga
    sued, Yeoh deported, Ferrera married, Brand and Wiig are “sexy vegetarians,” 
    Toy Story 4, Affleck to direct movie about Iran hostage crisis.....


  • Wednesday, June 29th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Monday, June 27th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Men arrested for beating gay man … Incense causes fire … Michele Bachmann to run
    for President … Twilight high school is gone … Porta-potty guy says he’s not
    crazy … Califirnia court strikes down video game bans … SCIENCE:  Asteroid
    running late, VW announces auto-pilot, lionfish killing smaller fish,
    flesh-eating cocaine … Man at baptism drowns … Anti-cop hangman sign removed …
    ENTERTAINMENT:  Daniel Craig marries Rachel Weisz, Aniston gets tattoo to honor
    dead dog, William Koch buys Billy the Kid tin type. Sheen loses his other
    goddess....


  • Friday, June 24th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Faith-healing parents get 90 days … Philly Phanatic takes a ball to the head … Sweat lodge guru found guilty … Senators want to talk to Google … Dairy dumps animal waste … Portlandia seeking extras … Town denies shark cover-up … Ron Paul and Barney Frank team up in favor of legal pot … Cop runs from aggressive bear … SCIENCE:  Kids okay after hockey hits, blindness cured, statins could increase diabetes risk, blue light used to treat illness … New York still working on same-sex marriage … Asshat pilot doesn’t realize his mic is on … ENTERTAINMENT:  Sara Ramirez engaged, Glee kid was in rehab, Lohan warned not to be a dumbass, Krasinski and Sorkin do miniseries about Chateau Marmont........

  • Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Aggressive mosquitoes in Portland … Winklevoss twins drop lawsuit … Reservoir will be covered … FBI arrests mob boss … Apple may make TVs … Man kills roommate with platypus statue … SCIENCE:  Ultrasonic frogs, we need more dead trees, cleaner fish bullies, heat will kill people … Weiner’s undone … Giant bag of vomit …  More on the debt ceiling … County commissioners’ bulletproof desk … Man says dress-wearing fellow stole his money … ENTERTAINMENT:  Glen Campbell has Alzheimer’s, Tobey Maguire sued for poker winnings, Clooney’s single, Dunn died drunk, Octomom dating, FX Powers casting, Harry Potter digital site.......

  • Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Homelessness on rise in Portland … Obama expected to pull troops by Afghanistan … Gingrich’s $1 mil line of credit at Tiffany’s … Fake doctor gave advice at OHSU … Spirit Airlines to charge $5 to printing boarding passes … More on the debt ceiling … SCIENCE:  Other planets have one big moon, observations of comet, Icky pictures on cigarette packs, Japanese steak made from poo … Hospital makes patients use tambourine to call nurse … Michelle Obama in South Africa … Boston mayor made about Nike shirts … ENTERTAINMENT:  Cee Lo Green tweets about bad review, John Lasseter talks about Pixar, Terry O’Quinn will be on Hawaii Five-0, Judy Greer engaged, Dawn doesn’t like Katy Perry......

  • Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man shoots himself in the groin … Canada to get plastic money, LulzSec steals entire 2011 census … Man accused of buying child … Sex trafficking law … Amish guy lures child to have sex in his buggy … SCIENCE:  Ocean life facing mass extinction, nasty pictures on cigarette packs, hybrid Popemobile … Alcoholic goes on hand sanitizer binge … Man breaks into house after being guided by unknown force … Cheap airfares … Woman hides fur coat in underwear … ENTERTAINMENT:  Actor marries 16-year-old, Peter Fonda marries someone age-appropriate, Bay claims Spielberg made him fire Megan Fox, Hangover II tattoo case resolved, Bam vs. Ebert.....

  • Monday, June 20th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Thousands ride bikes naked … Supreme Court sides with Wal-Mart … Iowa town sets giant oatmeal record … Esplanade reopens … Indian tribal employees fired for being white … Shoplifting suspect shoots himself in Kmart … Obama impersonator pulled offstage at GOP meeting … SCIENCE:  Birds’ bodies rotate, scientists see eye-rods, Earth is bulging, Senator calls robots wasteful … Obama and Boehner go golfing … Student suspended for wearing dress … More domain names coming … U.N. endorses gay rights … ENTERTAINMENT:  Noel Gallagher marries,  Marilyn Monroe dress sold, Tone Loc arrested, Humphries and Lilly cast in Hobbit, R.I.P. Clarence Clemons....

  • Friday, June 17th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    .....Kids burn themselves … Sherwood mom pleads not guilty to killing daughter … Nurse caught huffing in parking lot … Power outage caused by falling deer … Helsinki named “most livable city” … New York still working on same-sex marriage … LulzSec and Anonymous go out each other … Bees swarm MAX stop … Anthony Weiner may be back … SCIENCE:  Giant catfish caught, girl gets expandable funny bone replacement, iPhone case smells like jelly beans, human nose cells help grow mouse brains … Details of Vancouver riot photo released … Tualatin school renames mascot after bear … Larry Flynt offers Weiner a job … ENTERTAINMENT:  Rita Wilson to edit HuffPo over-40 site, Broderick back to Broadway, Spelling sells house, Aniston living with boyfriend … Yearbook accidentally prints naughty picture … Parents fined $500 for kids’ lemonade stand......

  • Thursday, June 16th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    .....Police raid marijuana lounge … Anthony Weiner resigns … Man pees in Mt. Tabor reservoir … Riots in Vancouver after Stanley Cup loss … Man gets rid of finger wart with shotgun … New al-Queda leader … Bof A sends overdue tax notices by mistake … Guy robbed by fellow who leaves behind wig and makeup … SCIENCE:  Radiated whales, spying devices in Hong Kong cars, medical implants may be hackable … Nancy Grace yaps about the Casey Anthony case … Guy says he has drunk sex in car at 85 mph while in the back seat … Gingrich’s buys stuff from himself through his own charity … Guy in baggy pants arrested at airport … Girls use stolen pregnancy test at Rite Aid … Joss Stone menaced, Dakota Fanning smells nice, Timberlake likes pot, Crowe cast at Jor-El, Neeson possibly back in The Dark Knight Rises.....

  • Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Hefner not getting married....Officer Bird saves baby bird … N.Y. governor introduces gay-marriage bill … Dalai Lama calls Australian PM a man … Gloria Allred jumps into the Weiner business … Stabbed burglar caught … Pandora goes public at $20 a share … SCIENCE:  Ancient man has bad teeth, bike laser, Apple vs. Nokia … Unhappy barber stabs boss with scissors … Morrison Bridge grates to be fixed … Lance Armstrong fights with accuser … ENTERTAINMENT:  Aniston steals boyfriend, Spider-man Turn Off the Dark still (still) sucks.....

  • Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Forest Grove teen comes to slumber party with shotgun … Ron Paul wants to count our gold … Tea Partiers liked debate … Beer fest oversells tickets … Maries Callender’s shuts down, kicks out customers mid-pie … 19-year-old running for mayor … Herman Cain only against Muslims who are “trying to kill us” … Another lesbian blogger turns out to be a man … SCIENCE:  FDA has new rules about sunscreen, a new artificial heart doesn’t beat, store installs “ass cam” in dressing rooms … White House wants Weiner to resign, but doesn’t actually ask … ENTERTAINMENT:  Tracy Morgan tries to make nice after anti-gay statements, Fran Drescher’s ex-husband is gay, Tori Spelling crashes into a wall, Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark still sucks … The worst story you’ll hear all week....

  • Monday, June 13th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Bend man steals underwear … Pro-Palin vandals post fake tweets … God smites Harold Camping … Albany chemical fire … Woman dies while talking on phone and crossing street … Dessert burns people … Rose Festival fleet leaves … Plaxico Burress is now against gun violence … Bus company seating passengers in luggage compartment … Face transplant recipient ready to eat pizza … SCIENCE:  Japanese workers overradiated, Chileans warned to stay away from volcano, cloned cow give human-ish milk,Filipino guy is world’s shortest man … French told to take care of hamster … Man fakes brain injury to get diaper changed … Washington court says legal marijuana users can be fired … Ford to make small cars again … ENTERTAINMENT: Book of Mormon wins big at Tonys, Spider-Man producer dies, Lilly Allem pregnant and married, Nic Cage controls men’s minds......

  • Friday, June 10th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Cat has bubonic plague … Zombies protest Wisconsin governor … Bean sprouts kill people in Germany …  New bottle bill in Oregon … Pearl District Starbucks to sell beer and wine … Jury deliberates in Blagojevich retrial … SCIENCE:  Edge of solar system is bubbly, hotter summers will be the norm, Russian ATMs are lie detectors … Historic Route 66 motel … ENTERTAINMENT:  Dinklage to be a dad, Mel Gibson done with community service, Robin Wright joins Netflix series.....

  • Thursday, June 9th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Portland’s skid row-on-boats … Weiner pressured to resign … Teen watched Ewok fondle himself … Portland on of the most photographed places …. NATO builds cyber defense force … SCIENCE:  Apple unveils spaceship building, stem cells to make heart repair itself, electric battery runs on goo … Tim Pawlenty speaks … Tennessee bans all disturbing images everywhere … Man declares his crappy zoo a church … ENTERTAINMENT:  Shania Twain promises to nuts, Jason Mraz has world’s most boring breakup, Chris Evans going bald, Kyle Chandler talks Super 8....

  • Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man finally kills himself after 10 tries … Biker clocked at 127 mph … “Extreme” contest participants found … More Anthony Weiner news … Man beats himself up to fake mugging … Burnside Bridge to close for parade … SCIENCE:  Baby pygmy hippo, smallest engine, rocket to measure sea saltiness …. Woman gets hand stuck in ATM … Karate grandmaster accused to teaching groping to students … Gay teens do risky things … ENTERTAINMENT:  Lady Gaga, Lauryn Hill, Extreme Couponing, and Dakota Fanning.....

  • Monday, June 6th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Gresham man pretends to be cop … Man uses fire to kill weeds, torched neighbor’s house … Santorum running for President … Shooting victims identified … Poll finds Americans are angry about everything … Antiques Roadshow finds original Rockwell in Eugene … Giant rodents eating children … Obama visits Chrysler plant … SCIENCE: Astronauts grow cucumbers, bees still dying, new cancer treatments, touch-screen steering wheels … Right-wing Christians freaked out by Disney “Gay Day” … Edwards turns down plea bargain … Shaq to retire … ENTERTAINMENT:  Reality show mom arrested for meth, accident at MythBusters shoot, Rihanna’s music video too violent, MTV movie awards.....

  • Friday, June 3rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Bar fight ends in car crash and gunfire … Mayor proposes sex change benefits for city workers … More talk about the national debt … Palin’s bus vandalized … Wheels of cheese stolen in Bend … Mitt Romney running for President … Horse rescued from creek … Weiner says he didn’t post photo … SCIENCE:  Test starts fire at NASA, nematodes found deep in the earth, scientists grow brain in dish … Tips for protecting yourself from bears … Dogs rescued after being stuck on roof  … “Delightful Deviant” sentenced for sexing teenager … ENTERTAINMENT:  Octo-Mom doctor loses license, Lenny Kravitz’ daughter is in a movie and dating, Sheen and wife reach custody agreement, Blake Lively boobs blah blah blah, Gary Sinise donates school supplies to Haiti......


  • Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Water level rises on Esplanade … Bear wanders around Tualatin … New Seasons founder running for mayor … Housing market is “in the dumps” … High school prank goes awry … Clinton would like to serve justice on Mubarek … Guy commits suicide by driving off parking garage … Congressman Weiner shows his on Twitter … SCIENCE:  Apple announces iCloud, DARPA offers contest, LulzSec revives Tupac, Google to challenge Groupon … Florida may not give drug addicts welfare … Balloon Boy’s dad selling balloon … Palin has pizza with Trump.....


  • Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....BASE jumper injured … Woman found dead in beauty salon … Missing woman found face down in ant nest … Bear visits Vancouver neighborhood … PBS shows will have ads … Strange man offers children candy … Egyptian general issues “virginity checks” … SCIENCE:  Sports drinks could cause small testes, 1 in 10 toys in China unsafe, tunnel found under temple in Mexico, men have “hotness delusion syndrome,” virtual frog dissection … Brazilian man’s dentures stop bullet … Man injured in summer snowmobile crash … Mayor talks about Memorial Coiliseum renovation … ENTERTAINMENT: Lady Gaga loses money, Andy Dick sued over genital-rubbing....

  • Monday, May 30th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Portland man attacked by intruder with screwdriver ... ‘Hands Across Hawthorne’ protests hate crimes ... Obama leads memorial Day services ... Palin not invited to veterans’ motorcycle run ... Three girls trapped on carnival ride ... Twitter ordered by court to reveal a user’s name ... TriMet route changes ... Drunk man shoots at grounded airplane ... SCIENCE:  Space shuttle program ending, whale sharks swarming Mexican coastline, plastic playground equipment too safe, Blackbeard’s anchor salvaged .... Germany to close nuclear plants ... Mann survives in swamp on plants and urine ... “Mullet Bandit” robs another bank ... Girl has ants in her ears ... Illinois to allow bikers to run red lights ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Gil Scott-Heron dies, Timberlake’s sponsored car wins Indy 500, Jeff Conaway dead ... Man attacks woman with swim noodle.....

  • Friday, May 27th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Opening statements begin in faith-healing trial ... Rose Festival starts ... Man with shotgun surrenders ... Cheerleaders suspended for hazing ... Palin starts campaign tour ... Teacher arrested for relationship with student ... Boy drags home gator ... Naked woman sent to police station by spirits ... Graduation at Annapolis ... SCIENCE:  Dual-gender birds, hand sanitizers can make you fail tests, woman gives birth to abdominal pregnancy ... Pawlenty running for president ... Dog with two broken legs comes home after tornado ... Buffalo comes up with dumb city slogan ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Ryan Reynolds not dating, Sheen sells house, Billie Joe Armstrong produces son’s record, Armisen to give commencement speech....

  • Thursday, May 26th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    .....Woman attacked by stranger at home ...Jared Loughner incompetent to stand trial ... Man takes daughter’s phone, gets shot with arrow .... Disney withdraws application for trademark “SEAL Team 6“ ... Arizona businesses not allowed to hire illegal immigrants  ... Portland cops seek prolific drunk driver ... Divorced man must share Wheel of Fortune winnings ... Man breaks leg after being attacked by goose ... SCIENCE:  Busy hurricane season on the way, new cockroach species discovered, device will let you answer phone on your hand ... Jet-ski thief fatally shot by teenager ... John Edwards may be prosecuted for affair cover-up ... Iowa bar ticketed for illegal mouse racing ... Sofia Coppola married, Christopher Meloni leaves Law & Order: SVU, Olmos to join Dexter, Silverchair breaking up.....


  • Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Tuesday, May 24th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man with knife climbs in teen’s window ... Charlie Hales running for mayor ... Supreme Court orders massive cuts to California prison numbers ... Dog walker hit by car ... Flood warning on Columbia River ... Woman tries to sell daughter’s virginity ... New home sales up, new construction still weak ... No smoking in Philadelphia ... SCIENCE: Ford developing heart-monitor car seat, llama poop helped the Incas, robots make up their own language ... Annoying Construction Season begins in Portland ... Semi dumps cows on overpass ... Rapture preacher says it’s now Oct 21 ... ENTERTAINMENT: Hangover II tattoo suit solved, Danny Glover on Psych, Joss Whedon directed last scene of Thor ... Popeyes manager fondles underage employees....

  • Monday, May 23rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Tornado kills 89 dead in Missouri ... Harold Camping baffled that world didn’t end ... Obama’s Irish, sort of ... Search on for missing fisherman ... Man fatally crushed in recycling center ... Joey Chestnut eats a lot of cheesesteaks ... SCIENCE: Pope calls space, iPhone 5 may have curved glass, Viagra might make you go deaf ... Haley Barbour won’t run for president, and talks about Newt ... Man breaks into Papa Murphy’s and dsrinks soda ... Utah may make acting sexy illegal ... ENTERTAINMENT: Tree of Life wins top Cannes prize, songwriter commits suicide, Sara Rue gets married and, more importantly, isn’t fat.....

  • Friday, May 20th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Bicyclist killed by semi ... Obama shares his Middle East plan ... Clam diggers bodies found ... Lance Armstrong accused of doping ... Longview couple arrested for starving children ... SCIENCE: Big brains were developed for smelling ... Woman gives kid marijuana-laced margarine ... Woman settles Disney groping suit ... Guy sells counterfeit electronics ... ENTERTAINMENT: Moss and Armisen divorce, Lady Gaga hits 10 million followers on Twitter....

  • Thursday, May 19th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man spends life savings on Doomsday ads ... Teens found dead near Four Loko can (spoiler: they didn’t die from Four Loko) ...  Obama talks to Coast Guard grads ... Man shoots at skateboarders, hits one ... Woman told she’s too fat to fly ... Druggie parents leave kids in woods ... SCIENCE: Extinctions exaggerated, Endeavor hooks up to space station, tarantulas shoot silk from their feet ... IMF head keeps asking for bail ... Boys kicked off bus for farting ... ENTERTAINMENT:  Maxim Hot 100 list,  Jeff Conaway in coma, Leverage...seeks extras, Stephen Fry joins...Hobbit.....

  • Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Portland levy passes, bond doesn’t ... Gingrich glittered ... Poor people don’t get much medical attention ... Martial arts teacher charged with abuse ... Strawberry harvest late ... IMF head says sex was consensual ... Starbucks sued for firing dwarf ... Iran delays trial of hikers ... Man tries to board train with pony ... SCIENCE: Hawking says there’s no heaven, coffee may help prostate, baby products full of toxins, Netflix means most online content is paid for ... Canaibis-license broker pleads guilty to tax evasion ... Yale bans fraternity for anti-women chants ... 500 illegals packed into tractor-trailers ... Woman tries to trade salad for drugs ... Man dies after dog bite ... ENTERTAINMENT: Zsa Zsa in hospital again, Gossip Girl actresses dating new people, Hellcats is canceled ... Mom runs over daughter in Wal-mart parking lot.....

  • Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Monday, May 16th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man dies after 68 days in truck ... IMF chief on trial for sexual assault ... Jewelry store clerk tackles thief ... Naked man throws tennis balls at cars ... Woodburn shooting ... Obama delivers commencement speech ... Man robbed by bearded lady ... Trum not running for president ... Towns ban Lazy Cakes ... SCIENCE: Endeavor launches, horse herpes, squid in space, Mississippi to flood rural areas... Blackwater founder builds secret Arab army ... On-duty cop has sex with prostitute... Vatican offers "child abuse guidelines"... ENTERTAINMENT:  Jon Stewart on O'Reilly, Rick Springfield threatens to kill a cop, Blake Shelton married, Jesse James shouldn't be married. NBC releases new schedule.....

  • Friday, May 13th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Two men arrested in Lloyd Center shooting … Whale slams into boat … Salem bicycle jerk grabbed by truck … Cougar in Bend neighborhood … Navy SEALs names secret … Washington says to drive fast in the fast lane … Woman gets permission to masturbate at work … SCIENCE:  Sharks dying, Japanese plant leaking, headphone “listener fatigue” explained … Ron Paul running for President … Romney hates health care … Man shoots wall and neighbor’s TV … ENTERTAINMENT:  DiCaprio breaks up with girlfriend, Ferrell gets award, Perry stays sober.....

  • Thursday, May 12th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Chemical cloud attacks Milwaukie … Lumber mill explodes … Man survives pole through head … Beavers announcer gets drunk, eats napkin, apologizes … Angry man sets dumpster fires  … House Armed Services Committee votes for more war money, less equality … SCIENCE:  Astronauts to try Endeavor again, lung stem cells found, coffee fights cancer … Gator trapper bitten by gator … Woman crashes into tanning salon … Arrestee has pot pipe in his “rear end” … Obama talks budget … ENTERTAINMENT: Mary Tyler Moore has a tumor, Dan Ackroyd has vodka stolen, Olbermann has Ken Burns and Michael Moore, Lehrer has retirement, Will Smith has an enormous trailer.....

  • Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Monday, May 9th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Missing woman survived on trail mix … Pakistan says it didn’t hide bin Laden … Woman shot in head at target range … Portland writer wins Beard award … Kid in Osama’s neighborhood says something was odd … Apple world’s most valuable brand … Man shot while buying gun … Floods coming to Mississippi … Thief found in diner bathroom … SCIENCE: Intolerance to foods is usually bunk, plague case in New Mexico, stranded whales, bad flu season … Thieves butt-dial 911 while planning crime … Goats to clear Oregon levees … Woman blames weirdness on Lyme disease … Iowa dispatcher fired for being creepy … More autism than you thought … ENTERTAINMENT: Paul McCartney engaged, Julie Andrews sad, Pippa Middleton offered porn contract.....


  • Friday, May 6th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Thursday, May 5th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Train on fire … Obama won’t release corpse photos … Snake in dishwasher … Man
    uses “too much salt” murder defense … GOP redefines rape … SCIENCE:  Wild asses
    becoming extinct, religious fervor tied to high blood pressure, giant ant fossil
    … Alan Shepard honored … Hikers saved in Gorge … Hero dogs in Pakistan … Obama
    visits NYC firehouse … ENTERTAINMENT:  David Spade donation, Jackie Cooper dies,
    Marie Osmond remarries first husband, Hobo with a Shotgun......


  • Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Naked man walks into Vancouver grocery store … Bin Laden death details may be wrong … Two hikers stranded in Gorge … Bullying teens get probation … Former cop arrested for burglary … Stutters mad at Trump … TriMet driver faces sex charges … Prince Charles speaks … SCIENCE: Eating less salt doesn’t help your heart, tiny robots learn to share … Guys use snake to scam Wal-Mart … Job cuts fall … Spike in suspicious packages … ENTERTAINMENT: Jennifer Love Hewitt splits with boyfriend, Andy Dick arrested, Twilight: Eclispse gets nominations, Manilow and Hagar news.....

  • Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Dawn Taylor and Eric D. Snider take the wheel for a day, as Legion of News spins through a panoply of yesteryear's news stories....

  • Monday, May 2nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Osama bin Laden is dead … Man and kid separated on MAX … Cops rifle,
    bullet-proof vest stolen from truck … Event honors dog blood donors … Donald
    Trump is a humorless jerk … SCIENCE: Car powered by lasers, massive whale washes
    up on beach, crude oil inked to heart defects, shuttle launch delayed again …
    Guy blames robbery injuries on bear … Timbers beat Salt Lake … Woman assaulted
    and held captive …  Americans eat a lot of sugar … Baby delivered at UI
    checkpoint … ENTERTAINMENT: Lorenzo Lamas married again, Mariska Hargitay’s
    “zen” daughter, Lohan plea deal, Charlie Sheen tours tornado damage, Kid Rock
    accepts NAACP award....


  • Friday, April 29th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man injured in barn fire … Homeowner posts angry sign … Obama visits Alabama … California may ban teenage tanning … It’s raining frogs … TriMet may raise fares … Gas prices up … Lawyer sues strip club after spending $19K while drunk … Indian guy beheads girl who won’t date him … Trump talks about running for president … SCIENCE: Endeavor launch delayed, white iPhones are thicker, nanotube TV … Folks on terror watch list can buy guns … Marines trained on how to deal with gay soldiers … Facebook investors want to sell stock … Teen thieves break into van full of soldiers … ENTERTAINMENT NEWS: Royal wedding, January Jones pregnant, Emma Watson wasn’t bullied … Fake cop pulls over woman who’s dad is a real cop....

  • Thursday, April 28th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Elementary girls charged with cyberstalking … Obama releases birth records … Wolverines in Oregon … Driver slams into building … More tornadoes … Starbucks number three restaurant … $8 million of meth smuggled in tourists’ shoes … Man sentenced for motorcycle hit-and-run … “Pregnant” woman has cyst the size of basketball … SCIENCE: Rolling caterpillar robots, teenagers in Canada get squiffy because of Internet, colored poo could tell you what’s wrong with you … Jury acquits man of stealing hot dog … News Corp. trying to sell MySpace … Man wanted by FBI caught at Starbucks … ENTERTAINMENT: Olbermann coming back to TV, Ian Ziering’s a dad again, William Forsyth to join Boardwalk Empire....

  • Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Naked woman rescued from Sandy River … Rep. Giffords will watch husband take off in Endeavor … Palace guard relieved of duties for Facebook slurs … Nurse wears bad disguise to steal drugs … Americans more dependent of federal aid than ever before … Facebook wants in on Groupon action … SCIENCE: Record month for tornadoes, UFO museum on hold, Higgs boson maybe discovered after all … Men steal DVDs at Target … Consumer confidence slightly better … Man stabs himself, attends AA meeting … Two bodies found in Seaside … ENTERTAINMENT: Law & Order to do Giffords storyline, Levi Johnston writes book, Kevin James has a weird-named kid … Police watch man cut off leg with saw....

  • Monday, April 25th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Fire kills six in Vancouver … Debt about to hit ceiling … Oregon may ban shark-fin soup … Oklahoma folks spot mountain lion in tree … Big Wheel derby in San Francisco … Sea lion cameras at Bonneville … Michael Bloomberg says GOP needs to get off Ohio man says he should be allowed to bark at police dogs … Church officials want Republican official to quit after racist emails … Man arrested in G-string with scrunchie on his privates … SCIENCE: Neanderthals buried with ceremony, world’s oldest champagne to be auctioned, happy places have high suicide rates … Termites eat millions of rupees … President Carter in Asia … Police called to investigate vibrator noise … Attorneys general miffed about Colt 45 Blast … ENTERTAINMENT: Pattinson finds “Where’s Robert?” app terrifying, Flavor Flav to shut down chicken restaurant....

  • Friday, April 22nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Tualatin men throw teenager into river … TriMet gets shot … Unemployment dept.
    phones tied up … Couple charged with hundreds of sex crimes … Office workers
    using Internet … Eliot Spitzer thinks there’s no point in investigating gas
    prices … Android also tracks your location … Guys win Powerball … Texas governor
    urges citizens to pray for rain … SCIENCE: Pope to call space, gonorrhea
    becoming ‘superbug,’ studying arctic soot, lots of planets with life …
    Washington teen fakes pregnancy for school project … Australian sewage full of
    speed and ecstasy … “Birther bill” has nothing to with Obama, nothing at all …
    ENTERTAINMENT: Mel Gibson doesn’t care if he acts anymore, Leeza Gibbons
    marries, Amy Smart engaged, Jim Carrey to do The Office … Denny’s patron thrown
    utensil at cellphone guy … Vatican to show abuse files … Liquor in vending
    machines....


  • Thursday, April 21st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Missing Bend woman found in box in backyard … Obama says he understands everyone’s frustration … Woman survives tornado in bathtub … firefighters deliver baby … BP sues Halliburton … iPhone’s watching you … Scalpers selling marked-up Yosemite permits … SCIENCE: Virtual reality scents, pesticide exposure in womb equals low baby IQ … Tiger Mother lady is on Time’s 100 most influential people list … Sex-toy party ends in Aussie brawl … Fugitive squirrel’s hijinks come to an end … ENTERTAINMENT: Demi Lovato talks bipolar and anorexia stuff, TV on the Radio bassist dies, Ethan Hawke’s a dad again, almost.......

  • Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Kindergartner accidentallt shoots classmates … BP oil-spill anniversary … Sammie the Salmon tweets … First Lady’s jet in peril …. Paint Recycling Day on Friday … Mississippi town thwarts Westboro Baptist … Woman stabbed in head with pen on subway … Michelle Bachmann = President? … SCIENCE: Scientists teleport light, new Alzheimer’s guidelines, 40 fish species could vanish … NY woman hides in closet with knife, duct tape … McDonalds hire day inspires fist fight … ENTERTAINMENT: Brian Grazer engaged, Boardwalk Empire actress gets restraining order, Helen Mirren swears......

  • Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....14-year-old boy shot at Lloyd Center … Man wrestles with bees at midnight … 16th anniversary of Oklahoma City bombing … Woman taken in by Facebook scammer … Mall cops think umbrella is rifle … Match.com to screen for sex offenders … Facebook, kids, safety, blah blah blah … McDonalds offers 50,000 jobs at one day promotion … Gay teens less likely to attempt suicide when not surrounded by conservatives … SCIENCE: 100 sets of skeletons found, ducks’ bills give clues to STDs, Branson to create lemur island … Vancouver man leaves hospital, runs into traffic … Gas prices almost $4 per gallon … Woman ignores cops, goes to McDonalds … Japan nuclear plants start pumping radioactive water … ENTERTAINMENT: Elton John signs for three years in Vegas, Sheen’s ex in rehab as he starts $100 million lawsuit, Rachel Evan Wood likes ladies, Nicolas Cage is back at work … Obama says rich people should pay taxes.....

  • Monday, April 18th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Driver chased by police while huffing nitrous … Storms in south … Man shot in head by brother-in-law … Man stabs himself to death during Bend open-mic night … Donald Trump has more money than you … Conservatives think the government should do more about porn … 6-year-old takes car, crashes … New rules for air traffic controllers include “no napping” … SCIENCE: Swearing can help relieve pain, inability to detect sarcasm a sign of senility,  aliens may communicate with neutrinos … Man dressed as mannequin to spy in ladies’ bathroom … Gas prices are higher! … Japan talks about plan to clean up nuclear mess … ENTERTAINMENT: Patrick Stewart wants to die, Nicolas Cage gets drunk and arrested, Playboy Mansion hot tub makes people sick, the end of the line for soap operas....

  • Friday, April 15th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Beaverton woman arrested for Bosnian war crimes … New stamp shows wrong Statue of Liberty … Obama addresses “birther” issue … Timbers win first MLS home game … “Pooping Mailman” strikes in SE Portland … Fukushima plant to compensate victims … Obama says the dream is still alive .. Riussian stabs friend over Mike Tyson … Anti-BP protestors gather in London … SCIENCE: Reusable Olympics’ buildings, U.S. meat full of staph bacteria, experts say Japanese nuclear workers should bank blood … Molalla man arrested for selling heroin to teens … Another sleeping air-traffic controller … 15-year-old gets prosthetic hand for prom … Man threatens and berates Wal-Mart greeter …   ENTERTAINMENT: Arthur Marx dies, Demi Lovato praises Zeta-Jones, Cox and Arquette talk to Stern, Whoopi talks to Piers Morgan … School official in trouble over calling young ladies “bad.”....


  • Thursday, April 14th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Timbers to play first MLS home game … Man ‘engulfed in flames’ at porn store … Police still looking for Long Island serial killer … FAA official resigns over sleeping controllers … Vancouver couple kept autistic kids in cage … Oregon Zoo rhino gets a special lady-friend … States seek to bar exposes of animal farm practices … More about the nation’s budget … Dumped cooking oil makes town smell like fries … Teacher reprimanded for Civil War lesson … SCIENCE: Asian unicorns get preserve, schizo brain cells grown in lab, smartphone app predicts traffic problems … McDonalds managers selling fake IDs … Barry Bonds convicted, a little bit … ENTERTAINMENT: Kobe Bryant fined, ABC cancels soaps, Zata-Jones is bipolar, Jeff Foxworthy to star in comedy....

  • Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Molalla teen hit with discuss … Oregon legislators are lame … Budget cuts slice human services … Sternwheeler aground … Donald Trump leads GOP nominees … Blood plasma truck overturns … Congress removes wolf from engendered list … SCIENCE: Limb regrowth may be possible, Roswell files … Man hots himself in head over government shutdown … Two killed on radio tower … Teen kicked out of school over T-shirt …ENTERTAINMENT: Scarlett Johansson’s not pregnant, Stephen Tyler’s memoir, Emma Roberts’ boobs … Robber says car-door opener is bomb....


  • Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man stole money from laundry machines … NASA announces shuttle destinations …
    Airbus clips plane at JFK … Two dead in love triangle shooting … Concerns over
    debt-ceiling vote … Ninth set of bones found in serial-killer investigation …
    Germans don’t want to stuff Knut … Puppets stolen in Hawaii … SCIENCE:  Japan
    nuclear crisis at Chernobyl level, teens still using drugs, indoor farming,
    Google trivia game, poisoned Chinese milk … Cops find guns in car … Dairy fined
    for dumping waste … Man gives money away to spite ex … Florida town doesn’t want
    reality show … ENTERTAINMENT: Nic Cage’s stolen comic book found, Phil Spector
    may go back to court, Ashley Judd hates black people, Benicio Del Toro is
    fertile, Hugh Hefner is awesome....


  • Monday, April 11th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Friday, April 8th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Teen goes to court for killing girlfriend … Students go to hospital after sharing pills … Oil prices up again … Government budget still hung up as Republicans fight Planned Parenthood and ETA funding … Portland water and sewer to get overhaul … Disney to build park in China … SCIENCE:  Penguins going bald, Boy Scouts’ robotics badge, women wouldn’t give anything to be thin … Market owner accused of food-stamp fraud … Some countries trying to control Internet … ENTERTAINMENT: Betty White calls Sheen and Lohan “ungrateful,” Danny McBride to be a dad, David Arquette’s still sober, Matt Lauer leaving Today … Woman accused for home circumcision out of jail … Lost boy says his name is Spider-Man … NATO says it’s hard to tell who to bomb … New book contains unpublished Dr. Seuss stories....


  • Thursday, April 7th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    ....Man robs Salem while talking on phone … Man kicked off plane for being tall … Tweet for beer at Mariners games … Less white children being born … SCIENCE Archeologists dig up Mona Lisa, breast milk from cows, Branson builds flying sub … 9/11 terrorists to be tried at Guantanamo Bay … Man stuffs chicken down pants … Obama should be doing more about the budget … Elderly woman stuck on toilet for days … ENTERTAINMENT: Vince Neil charged with battery, Sham-Wow guy wanted assistant to be sex slave, Sean Hayes cast as Larry in Three Stooges movie, Dark Knight Rises to shoot in Pittsburgh, Charlie Sheen to trademark phrases … Dunkin’ Donuts makes royal wedding donuts....


  • Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Woman drives car into bank building … FAA to inspect planes … Driver notices house fire … House votes to warn against feeding wildlife … Judge says pedophile’s victim seduced him … Japan starts dumping radioactive water … Theft of e-mail addresses … SCIENCE: Google science fair, ozone layer deteriorating faster, ancient Post-It note, vaccine for cat allergies … More stuff about government budgets … Moussa Koussa gets his money back … Policeman fired for using funds to buy Uggs … Woman attacks painting … ENTERTAINMENT:  Kirstie Alley falls down, Michael Buble’s home robbed, Charlie Sheen does slightly better in Chicago....

  • Monday, April 4th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Salem men kidnap teen girl … Obama launches re-election campaign … Japan to dump 11,000 tons of radioactive water … Orlando hosts giant pillow fight … Cracks found on Southwest Airlines planes … Man tries to sell Staten Island Ferry … Men fall out of bus on way home from brewery … Oil prices ip again … SCIENCE: Siberian tiger gets surgery, ‘Fukushima 50’ realizes they’ll probably die, fear of death inspires belief n God, sacred turtle captured and treated by vets … Memorial planned for K-9 killed on duty … Soccer stadium gets Michael Jackson statue … ENTERTAINMENT: ACM Awards, 5 Browns dad sentenced, Jackie Chan raises money … Baby giraffe born at Cincinnati Zoo....

  • Friday, April 1st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Missing Portland girl murdered in boyfriend’s bed … Storro pleads guilty … Per-mile tax for electric cars … April 1 redesigns for websites … FDA not big on ADHD-food dye labels … Bronx Zoo cobra found … Obama talk clean air … SCIENCE: Knut drowned, man plans recycled island, novel restless leg syndrome cure … Molalla hit-and-run victim dies … Cops find pot in inmate’s butt … Military people to get paychecks … ENTERTAINMENT:  Mad Men deal signed, Charlie Sheen & Snoop Dogg, Portlanders in line forX Factor auditions, Betty White prank show.... 

  • Thursday, March 31st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Man sets fire in Woodburn Wal-Mart … PETA wants San Francisco to rename the Tenderloin District … Raccoon meat removed from store … Killer whale back at Sea World … Audit finds Portland water Bureau using tax money for non-water things … Space heater causes fire … SCIENCE:  Monkey chews cud, hermaphrodite bulldog, America exports low self-esteem … Man invents device to censor your TV … Forger brings fake doctor’s note to court … Man dies after being stuck in chair for two years … ENTERTAINMENT:  David Boreanaz settles harassment suit, Bryan Cranston cast in Total Recall remake.

  • Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Kitzhaber thanks FEMA … Man kills wife, stuffs her in barrel … New Seasons announces two locations … Federal budget deadline is looming … Bill in the works to sell marijuana in Oregon stores … Worker skips lottery, doesn’t win $16 million … Spirit Airlines hikes luggage costs … Bullet hole in airplane … Man caught hiding in doghouse … FDA official charged with insider trading … Laptop with BP oil spill info lost …. SCIENCE:  New plastic made from fruit, batteries charged by human movement, lap dogs in ancient France … Teen hospitalized after push-ups … Class-action Wal-Mart suit … Giant ray jumps on woman in boat … ENTERTAINMENT:  Bieber’s hair on tour, Charlie Sheen not actually selling out tickets, No Mad Men until 2012, auditions for Aflac duck, Justified renewed.


  • Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Leaking barge to be dismantled … Supreme Court still ponderoing Wal-Mart lawsuit
    … Pedestrian dies on SE 82nd … Suspect arrested for MAX stabbing … McMinnville
    K-9 catches burglar … Obama talks Libya … Mubarek can’t travel … Nuclear crisis
    in Japan may get worse … Tortoise stolen from zoo … Body scanners are pretty
    safe … SCIENCE: Artificial leaf could power a house, pain of rejection actually
    hurts … GOP not thrilled with Obama speech … Tombstone found outside Wal-Mart …
    Hinckley may be getting better, shrinks say … Activists urge immediate end to
    Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell....


  • Monday, March 28th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Friday, March 25th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....State reps try to solve penis problem … Nato takes over Libya operations … Japan extends evacuation zones … Longview gas thieves … Mayor Adams in Germany … Local radio announcer dies in car accident … Gadhafi had plastic surgery … SCIENCE:  Dinosaur drawning is really just a stain, Radiation in Japan’s food, Sabre-toothed turtle dog … ENTERTAINMENT: Liz Taylor late to own funeral, Michael Shannon cast in Superman film, Futurama renewed, Helen Mirren gets footprints … One is six Americans is Hispanic....

  • Thursday, March 24th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Three killed in van-train collision … Man tries to run down cop on bike … FAA suspends air traffic controller … Oregon law could target cigarette butts … SCIENCE: Forty-five Australian species threatened, movie theaters don’t want to list calorie counts, Apple drops “anti-gay” app … Cell phone save man’s life … Box fans recalled … ENTERTAINMENT: Howard Stern sues Sirius for bonus, One Boardwalk Empire actress hired for Fringe and another is arrested....

  • Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Injured man found in street … Gadhafi “will not surrender,” which isn’t what Obama hoped for … Missing man okay, just drove off … Man stabbed at downtown MAX station … Wine kiosks at Walmart … SCIENCE: Car seats for older kids, Animal leaders better with age … Squirrel attacks neighbors … Rose Festival 2012 will start with rock n’ roll marathon … ENTERTAINMENT: Elizabeth Taylor dies at 79....

  • Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Female jogger grabbed and groped … World leaders at odds over Libya … Wu doesn’t answer question about car accident … Castro secretly quit … Taco Bell customer brandishes gun over burrito prices … SCIENCE:  Cats are top bird-killers, First successful face transplant, Japan reconnects reactors … Woman gives up 50 bags of heroin during cavity search … Oregon man takes 13-year-old “girlfriend” to Maui … Obama talks about Gadhafi … ENTERTAINMENT: Michael Lohan arrested, Forrest Whitaker owes taxes, Chris Brown destroys dressing room, Eddie Murphy to get award, Stephen King may write for The Walking Dead....

  • Monday, March 21st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Polar bear Knut dies … Four injured in Portland shooting … Man falls off roller coaster at carnival … Fifth anniversary of Twitter … Urine-drinking guy sent to jail … Portland protests Iraq war anniversary … Bombing in Libya … SCIENCE: Diet makes you angry, X-ray blocking underpants, lab-grown urethras, walking and talking dangerous for old folks … Emu eggs stolen … AT&T buys T-Mobile … Power plant inspections … ‘Cat Island’ survives quake … ENTERTAINMENT:  GLAAD awards, Batman actor dies, Wyclef Jean shot in hand, The Hobbit starts shooting … Patient arrested for using pot as bribe at clinic.


  • Friday, March 18th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....With guests Aaron Mesh and Robert Wagner! Speeding violation leads to meth bust … Man robs tanning salon in Vancouver … Boy makes manly scented candles … Woman impaled on toilet paper holder … Panda bites zookeeper … Mudslide in California … Kid put in cage for poor behavior … SCIENCE:  Mercury’s secrets revealed, Robonaut2 is on Twitter, Moon will be really big … Bread sculpture made out of bread … Guy stomps on sandwich-stealing ibis … Japan’s leaking nuclear plant might be buried … Local gold-and-silver company turns out to be a fraud … Man twirls penis like helicopter … ENTERTAINMENT:  James Taylor breaks leg, Michael Madsen in contempt of court, Liam Neesen in another Taken movie, LaBute and Aronofsky news … Man has his testicles bitten off....

  • Thursday, March 17th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Wednesday, March 16th, 2011

    D'oh. Not so much with the show and the happening today. Back Thursday.


  • Tuesday, March 15th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....With special guest Fatboy Roberts – Tourist bus crashes in New York … PGE Park renamed … KUFO becomes KXL-A talk radio … Glen Beck beats Pat Robertson to blaming Japan’s earthquake on God … SCIENCE: Dolphin onto deck of boat, Japan evacuates their space shuttle center, Russia’s raising prices for rocket rides … 90-year-old man saves girl from rampaging horse … Man has shed full of skulls … ENTERTAINMENT:  Steven Soderbergh to retire, Gottfried fired as Aflac duck, Tyra Banks goes to business school....

  • Monday, March 14th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Earthquake in Japan, possible nuclear meltdown … Democrats keep labor alive in Wisconsin … India cracks down on fake pilots’ licenses … Al Qaida releases glossy ladies’ magazine … SCIENCE: Man and other primates age at same rate, Mercury visible this weekend … ENTERTAINMENT: Celebrities sell gewgaws for Japan relief, Richard Hatch going back to prison, Gallagher in hospital, Mel Gibson unsurprisingly charged with domestic violence … “Hipster traps” set in New York … Denny’s customer fires gun after slow service....

  • Friday, March 11th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Earthquake and tsunami in Japan … Wisconsin passes anti-union bill …. Teenager jumps off Golden Gate Bridge … Feds raid Charlie Sheen’s house … Protestors say no to Portland/FBI task force … Children’s-book author accused of molestation … SCIENCE: Kansas has the most big tornadoes, what e-mail domain says about you … Words from a man working at Japanese nuclear plant in Japan … Man uses sword to rob pharmacy … Obama says we might tap Strategic Petroleum Reserve … Vegetarian couple barred from adopting … ENTERTAINMENT:  Tony Danza divorces, Annette Fiunicello’s house burms down, Lindsay Lohan in court, Charlie Sheen’s lawsuit....

  • Thursday, March 10th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Bus driver fired over Confederate flag … Rep. Peter King sees no problem with supporting IRA … Jared Loughner in court … Obama hosts bullying conference … Wisconsin passes anti-union bill … Clark County makes guns legal in parks … Evergreen Aviation Museum eyes shuttle … Former porn star quits high school job … Illinois bans death penalty … Disney World gets rid of Grad Night … SCIENCE:  Two-headed turtle, Black Death and collecting guitars, typing with your brain, counting great white sharks … Skippy peanut butter recalled because of salmonella … New Zealand hookers see lots of business post-quake … Bank robber leaves urine behind … ENTERTAINMENT: Charlie Sheen looks for intern, Mel Gibson makes a plea deal, Guillermo del Toro announces yet another project, Julianne Moore to play Palin....

  • Wednesday, March 9th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Thousands of dead fish in California … Gadhafi says Libyans will fight back against no-fly enforcement … Police chase ends with car in flames … Man with service snake lobbies Washington state … U.S. championship cheese contest … NPR president steps down … Road rage guy shoots driver in legs … SCIENCE: New microwave, Chimps have spiny members, Discovery lands … Blagojevich asks judge to cancel retrial … Muslims speak out against house hearings … Bill Gates no longer richest man … Woman smuggles $170,000 in underwear … Stolen cell phone rings while cops in house … ENTERTAINMENT: Alice in Chains bassist dies, Mary Stuart Masterson pregnant, Scorsese and Pacino owe taxes, Robbie Robertson to write memoirs … Standardized test scores examined … Obama nominates ambassador to China … Robber chased away by old ladies....

  • Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ...Man breaks into house, showers, and calls 911 … Subway beats out McDonald’s for biggest chain … Sad Kelso man shot by cops … Obama considers Libya a priority … Man steal dead woman’s ashes … Oregon lawmakers propose new DUII legislation … SCIENCE:  Elephants are smart, suit possible for US syphilis tests, soft robot skin from nanotubes … Middle school kid brings gun to school … Baby sloth born in captivity … Dentist steals credit card … International Women’s Day … ENTERTAINMENT:  Spider-Man musical may dump Taymor, Watson takes break for Harry Potter, Jeremy London was really kidnapped....

  • Monday, March 7th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Two cops shot in SE Portland … Democrats in Wisconsin and Indiana still hiding … Nasty smell in Seattle credited to a ship full of fish … Supreme Court scorns “birther” lawsuit … SCIENCE:  NASA scientist skeptical of NASA scientist’s alien claim, Discovery takes off, Thai girl sets record as world’s hairiest child, delusion is the key to a happy relationship … Rep. Wu apologizes for his behavior … Burgerville closes Vancouver location … Congressional hearings on radical Islamics may contribute to hostility … Traile park party ends in deadly fire … ENTERTAINMENT:  Phil Collins retires, Michael Bay admits Transformers 2 was cdrap, David Arquette has a car accident, FOX may drop Glenn Beck … One-legged man easy to arrest … Vancouver man crashes test-drive bike into tree....

  • Friday, March 4th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Woman arrested for bringing dog poo on a TriMet bus … Man with bullet wound found near burning mobile home … Measles kid went to church group … Unemployment drops … Huffington tells unpaid bloggers to go ahead and strike … NBC filming new show in Portland … SCIENCE:  Finnish men have lower sperm count, human-shaped phone has skin-like feel, NASA launches spacecraft that crashes into sea … Australia brews space beer … ENTERTAINMENT:  Courtney Love settles Twitter suit, Sondheim to get award, Sheen calls Philly radio station, Eric Clapton auctions guitars....

  • Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Airbag thefts on rise in Portland … Gas prices could hit $4 … Newt Gingrich to consider presidential run … Clark County gets second measles case … Obama talks Libya … WikiLeaks soldier faces 22 new counts … Burglar found sleeping in house … SCIENCE: Hockey may cause football-style brain damage, Amelia Earhart clue found in poo, study says kids are having less sex … Longview students mistake big knife for gun … Mayor Adams reassigns city bureaus … Louisiana governor getting corporate money through wife’s charity … NFL players and union on deadline … ENTERTAINMENT:  Justin Bieber flips off paparazzi, Charlie Sheen’s still angry, Jesse James and Kat von D headed for reality show, plus Billy Bob Thornton/Cameron Crowe/Robocop news....

  • Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Slides threaten homes after rain … Man makes 18,000 prank 911 calls … “Bottle bomb” explodes in middle-school bathroom … Drunk driver crashes into sober-living home … Acid-attack chick makes plea deal … House and Senate approve bill to keep the government afloat … SCIENCE:  Feds declare eastern cougar extinct, panel finds unethical medical studies are still likely … Gresham detective arraigned for drunk driving … Inmate attacks guard with ballpoint pen … Fetuses to testify in court … Scott Walker defends his budget plan … Pizzeria owner plants live mice in competitors’ restaurants … Florida has more shady pain clinics than McDonalds and Burger Kings … ENTERTAINMENT:  Christina Aguilera arrested and released, Katie Holmes sues the Star, Melissa Gilbert and Bruce Boxleitner split, Liz Vassey on Castle, Charlie Sheen’s kids are taken away … SUV crashes into house after tongue piercing....

  • Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man arrested for peeping at Sherwood YMCA … Hammer-wielding fellow shot dead by cops … IHOP gives away pancakes today … Manslaughter trial begins for sweat-lodge guru … Teens arrested for Craigslist-related robbery … Seattle is “most miserable sports city” … SCIENCE: 40 million-year-old mites caught in sex act, Google accidentally deletes 150,000 Gmail accounts, Del Monte packages individual bananas in cellophane, landfills used as land for solar panels … Manufacturing in U.S. down, says Norbert Ore … Three men injured after accidental shooting at gun show … Passengers smoke pot during DUI checkpoint stop … ENTERTAINMENT:  Charlie Sheen’s publicist quits, Zach Galifianakis to host SNL, Bob Dylan’s ex-girlfriend is dead, Anna Hathaway paid $750k to wear jewelry....

  • Monday, February 28th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Winds cause power outages … Wu admits being hospitalized in 2008 … Obama encourages governors to “win the future” … Last WWI doughboy dies … Bernie Madoff says government is “a Ponzi scheme” … SCIENCE:  Astronauts take spacewalk, Iceland plans clean energy, wolves know where you’re looking, robot marathon … Doctors say kids shouldn’t tan … GOP budget cuts could kill 700,000 jobs … ENTERTAINMENT:  Paul Stanley fathers another child, Oscars ahoy, director Gary Winick dies, John Galliano fired by Christian Dior for anti-semitic rants....

  • Friday, February 25th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Vancouver teenager charged with murder … Columbia County wins excessive-force suit … Dye pack explodes on robber … Britain told they can extradite Julian Assange … Fox News boss told employee to lie to feds … Wisconsin assembly votes to take away union rights … Ferry full of Americans stranded in Libya … Aussie court give teen girl right to sex reassignment … SCIENCE:  Google asks Swiss to stop banning Street View, cellphones affect brain metabolism, three orangutans released in Malaysian experiment … Banned pig tattooist moves to China … Moammar Gadhafi wants everyone to dance … South Park jihadist sentenced to 25 years … Charlie Sheen is nutty....

  • Thursday, February 24th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Former Portland police cadet arrested in huge meth bust … Qaddafi blames uprising on drugs and Bin Laden … Libya unrest to have effect on oil prices … Trooper look for Wisconsin democrats … Russia decides beer is alcohol …. The king doesn’t pay for cigarettes! … City Council postpones talks about terror task force … SCIENCE: Young people may have priority for organs, testicle color is important, Kanye West can trigger seizures, iPhone app for wheelchair access … New-home sales down … UK deputy prime minister forgot he was charge … ENTERTAINMENT: Lindsay Lohan faces more jail time, Martin Sheen says Charlie’s problem is “like cancer,” George Clooney’s too cool for politics, Amazon Prime members get free movies, Randy Quaid can stay in Canada....

  • Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....TriMet driver busted for speeding and reckless driving … Gadhafi says he won’t leave Libya … Snake owner billed for losing boa on train … Obama tells Justice Dept. to stop enforcing Defense of Marriage … David Wu says he’s gotten some medical help … SCIENCE:  Alarming number of dead dolphins found, humans smell really bad, world’s smallest computer created … Indiana D.A. advocated deadly force against protesters … Supreme Court sides with vaccine companies … ENTERTAINMENT:  New cut of Justin Bieber set to suck more money from fans’ pockets, Alyssa Milano’s pregnant, Aaron Sorkin wrote A Few Good Men on napkins, Lindsay Lohan back in court....

  • Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Hundreds protest Planned Parenthood cuts … Deadly earthquake in New Zealand … Latvian man shot for chewing popcorn to loudly … Koch brothers funding Wisconsin counter-protests, more protests in Midwest, senator shouldn’t sad “fiscal crisis” … Science:  “Visual” part of brain not just for things you see, dogs feel sorry for us, scientists make new skin on printers … Runaway bulldozer plows through homes … Gas prices up again … Seattle couple killed by pirates … Entertainment: Danny Boyle directs Frankenstein on stage, Jay-Z battles British chef, Palin tell-all leaked online, Jerry Springer opera protested … Wisconsin doctors write fake sick notes for protest....

  • Monday, February 21st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Snowboarder rescued on Mt. Hood … Protests in Wisconsin … Texas may allow concealed weapons on campuses … David Wu may be crazy … Rich people from Seattle nabbed by pirates … Science:  Discovery may launch Thursday, felt boots blamed for “rock snot,” bottom of the Gulf of Mexico still oily … Attempted kidnap in Scappoose … California dog found in Tacoma … Doctors remove knife from man’s head … Bouncy castle blows kid onto neighbor’s roof … Moammar Gadhafi staring up genocide … Angry mourners attack news crew at IHOP … Entertainment:  NASCAR kicks off today, David Archuleta dropped from label, Rufus Wainwright’s a dad....

  • Friday, February 18th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Obama visits Intel … Facebook adds “civil union” to relationship status … Chemical spill closes OHSU building … New (sort of) rules for farmer’s markets … GOP says they’ll pass the spending cuts no matter what … Beaverton teacher sought by Interpol … GM unveils in-car entertainment thingie … Protests in Wisconsin ….Hospital puts kidney in wrong patient … Science:  Humanoid robots in space, hibernating bears, and cups made out of skulls …Earthquakes in Arkansas … Teenage burglar kills goldfish witnesses … Entertainment:  Vince Neil begins jail sentence, Frankie Muniz says he didn’t pull a gun on himself or his girlfriend, Michael Vick won’t appear on Oprah, Banksy does stuff....

  • Thursday, February 17th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Today's broadcast features The Best of Legion of News, and remember: the stories aren't dated, they're classic. We'll return Friday at noon with a brand-new episode...


  • Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Hillsboro man exposes himself to teen … Obama gives out Medals of freedom … Pit bull narcs out owner to cops … Amanda Knox’s parents indicted for libel … Chicago is shrinking …. 300 turkeys spill onto road … Science:  Human DNA shows up in gonorrhea bacteria, computer kicks butt on Jeopardy, Apple discovers disturbing practices, activists force postpone of whale hunt, Coke’s secret formula revealed … Entertainment: Bruno Mars gets probation, Letterman duped into thinking Lohan booked, Mickey Rooney takes out restraining order, Lance Armstrong retires again.

  • Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Portland to discourage scented city workers … Hillary Clinton says “there’s no app” for freedom … DUI drivers to be marked with special plates … Two Georgia students fail to “respect the cave” … Earthquakes near Mount St. Helens … Science:  Obama and House clash over science budgets, there may be a new planet, Monarch butterflies doing better … Boeing unveils new plane … Berlosconi on trial for sex with underage prostitutes … Man threatens to cut off girlfriend’s head for Valentine’s Day … 1,700 sturgeon found hiding at Bonneville Dam … Entertainment:  El DeBarge in rehab, Gordon Ramsay says something about something, Jersey Shore jerk charged with a crime, Portlandia is renewed, Elizabeth Taylor in hospital, sucky Spider-Man musical makes money, Jennifer Aniston has a new movie.

  • Monday, February 14th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Domestic violence sweep ... Thai couples break kissing record ... Obama submits budget ... Grocery CEO busted in child sex sting ... Middle East protests ... Oregon bill would guarantee civility at funerals ... Science:  Oregon doesn't need European input on  wolves, Russia hits phase two in fake Mars trip ... Ron Paul is conservative ... 7-foot man arrested for Morrison Bridge stabbing, Charges filed against polite robber ... The Grammys were last night!

  • Friday, February 11th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Pipeline explosion in Ohio … Mubarek steps down, says the military will be in charge … OSP detective leaves his gun in public bathroom … Clark County may ban glass pipes … Lighthouse-shooter shows up at police station drunk … “Dark horse” presidential candidate Herman Cain speaks … Grocery worker hands out icky yogurt sample … Portland ranks number one in mass transit … Science:  DNA tests could expose incest, hospitals won’t hire smokers, giraffes ride in a boat, Nokia teams with Microsoft … Woman jumps from burning apartment … Obama unveils new mortgage plan … Entertainment:  Lohan wants plea bargain, Bob Dylan to sing with Avett Brothers and Brits Mumford ay Grammys, Scarlett Johansson isn’t dating Sean Penn, new Dallas series … Robber surprises cop when his arm comes off....

  • Thursday, February 10th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Mubarek may (or may not) be stepping down … A boozy fight in a mobile home ends in a stabbing … Falling beer kegs kill a man … Congressman resigns after a shirtless Craigslist photo hits Gawker … Man hurt in hospital parking lot denied treatment until an ambulance comes … Taco Bell is giving away tacos … Science: Non-profit wants to buy satellite to provide free Internet, Verizon iPhones are here, diet soda linked to stroke … Men paint a dog pink for no apparent reason … A Georgia county wants to outlaw huffing … L.A. wants to make porn actors wear condoms....

  • Wednesday, February 9th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Giffords regaining speech, asks for toast … Powell’s announces layoffs … Detroit offers cheap foreclosed houses to cops … Russia cancels daylight savings … Tacoma is for lovers … Bikini-barista shop owner convicted of indecent exposure … Tea Party votes no on Patriot Act extension … Science:  Prince Charles huffs about climate-change skeptics, dropped tool may have damaged Discovery, Apple iPad 2 in production, bats make friends … Rich guy sues Burnside McDonald’s … Obama has lunch … Entertainment:  Lindsay Lohan charged with grand theft, Mad Men creator gets French award, Sanjaya in musical....

  • Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....14-year-old boy to be tried as adult for murder … Van crashes into Tualatin gas station … Gas prices rising again … Polite robber arrested … New York TV exec found guilty of beheading wife … Students team with zoo to educate about polar bears (“ a major animal”) … Comments by Egypt’s vice president “unhelpful” … Woman bites off another woman’s lip in bar fight … Crashes and DUIs for Super Bowl weekend …  Science:  Whales unbeach themselves, gas stations are toxic, and a child gets oxygen treatment after his nose is bitten off … Man killed by armed bird at cockfight … Something about the NFL … Amtrak train derails in New York … Entertainment:  Tony Hawk’s divorce, Michael Moore’s lawsuit, Michael Jackson’s doctor, Christie Brinkley’s lack of talent … Angry man arrested for attacking his own car....

  • Monday, February 7th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....One dead, two injured in NE Portland crash … Egypt gives government workers a raise … Shooting at fraternity in Ohio … Portland needs clowns! … Trooper and cop crash … Packers win Super Bowl … Oregon may ban plastic bags … Green River Killer charged with new murder … Kid actor a hit as lil’ Darth Vader … Science:  Scientists may have vaccine for all flu types, stone age fertility object found, study finds men want babies and women want independence, shrinking brains mean we’re smarter …  Obama talks to Chamber of commerce … Craigslist ad for 216 found underpants … Entertainment:  Aguilera flubs national anthem, Shia LeBeouf arrested, Simon Cowell’s X Factor prize....

  • Friday, February 4th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Still yet more protests in Egypt … Dogs and cats up for adoption … Man exposes himself at Salem mall … Unemployment down on paper, but there are still more people out of work and less jobs … Bad weather in Super Bowl town … Science: Giffords’ husband would be happy to command Endeavour, UFO over Jerusalem, Yellowstone holds off on bison slaughter, People are fatter everywhere … Obama prays for Egypt … We finally finish reading the Donut Hole story … Entertainment: Maria Schneider dead, James Marsters married, Peter Jackson recovering, Colin Hanks breeding, and Kristen Stewart is Snow White … Kenneth Cole angers Twitter users … Guy in Breathalyzer costume sentenced for DUI....

  • Thursday, February 3rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Health care repeal fails … Four guys, five stolen cars, and a meth lab … GOP asks Dems not to shut down government, please … Yet more violence in Cairo … Oregon Zoo hedgehop predicts spring, but not really …  Comcast to pay millions back in ill-gotten late fees … Science:  Spacecraft discovers new planets, Oysters disappearing, Murdoch launches iPad newspaper … Player’s leg snaps during basketball game … Entertainment:  Superman producer missing, Lindsay Lohan accused of shoplifting....

  • Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Violence in Egypt … Two sisters missing in Gorge … Man admits he was texting when he hit a guy with his car … Big cat is not a cheetah … Barn at dairy burns down … Republicans want to spend less money … Science:  Gas leak closes space center, Groundhog Day!, monogamous animals often have to settle … Two men dead in Vancouver … Father uses son to sell pot … Burglar gets trapped during robbery … Survey finds people steal wi-fi … Anti-abortion group stings Planned Parenthood  … Three women attempt to steal hair extensions … Entertainment: GLAAD annoyed at SNL, Ricky Gervais says no to Globes, Tyler Perry replaces Idris Elba....

  • Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Over a million protesters in Egypt, airports closed … Man dies in Gresham shooting … Hiker and dogs saved near Troutdale … Portland police want your opinion on tasers … Bush daughter is pro-gay marriage … Federal judge rules Obama health plan unconstitutional … Science:  World’s largest bear identified, There’s more dust now than before, Space shuttle fixed …Cosmopolis pulp mill back in business ... Government creates new job program … Entertainment:  Charlie Sheen bought a big suitcase of cocaine, and has no teeth....

  • Monday, January 31st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Protestors target billionaire Koch brothers … Search for Kyron Horman continues … Protest in Egypt, Sudan … Mubarek swears in new cabinet … Little girl urges Mubarek to let people vote … Rancher killed by cow … Earthquakes at Mt. St. Helens … Mayor Bloomberg wants stricter gun control … Oregon City boy accidentally shot in head … New government dietary guidelines for idiots … Science:  Carbon tax on meat, Wikipedia is written by guys, and the Super Bowl could give you a heart attack … Barge leaking toxic chemicals … Entertainment:  Peter Jackson doing well after surgery, David Arquette ourtof rehab, Henry Cavill is Superman, and Aaron Sorkin gets go-ahead for new HBO show … Vending machine robberies on the rise....

  • Friday, January 28th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Tips leads SWAT team to Waldport home … Lompoc Brewing gets new silo … Hilary Clinton disapproves of violence in Egypt … Stolen food cart reopens … Science: Tiger gets new hip, 25th anniversary of Challenger explosion, Great Pyramid made have hidden rooms … Mexican gangs use catapult to hurl pot over border … New Jersey mayor crashes car and blames show … Clackamas school bus driver convicted for child porn … Craigslist sale turns into theft … Lane County settles with kid who was bullied into false confession … Entertainment:  Charlie Sheen released from hospital, Scarlett Johansson says she’s not dating Justin Long, Chips star gets probation for securities fraud, Javier Bardem to star as gunslinger in Dark Tower movie....

  • Thursday, January 27th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Huckleberry the dog is found … Air stagnation  alert ... Rabies found on coast … Everyone’s weather is crazy … OLCC announce record-breaking sales … Reptile Man sentenced for having 40 illegal snakes … Rand Paul talks about the Tea Party … White House to address gun control … McCain aide author of Obama novel … Trimet passengers pin crazed rider … Science:  More crows in Montreal, Kraft kiosk recommends foods based on profiling … Homeland Security changes up the terror system … Entertainment:  No adoption for Jennifer Aniston, McG may direct Wonder Woman pilot, Vince Neil pleads guilty to DUI....

  • Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ...Jesse Ventura sues TSA over groping … Obama states the union … Washington bill would sell marijuana in liquor stores … Woman runs over friend with car … Microsoft isn’t calling you to fix your computer … Obama mentions local businessman I speech … Dr. Conrad Murray charged with Michael Jackson’s death … Science:  Malaysia releases mutant mosquitoes, robots learn to walk and evolve, Cuban frogs arrived floating on debris … Hacker posts on Zuckerberg’s Facebook page … Will.i.am hired by Intel … Entertainment:  Jimmy Buffett falls off stage, Macauley Culkin not dating porn actress, Anthrax joins with Slayer, Megadeth and Metallica to play concert....

  • Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Fire at Tillamook Cheese Factory … Manhunt continues on Oregon coast … Oregon City tobacco store targeted by cops … Seattle cop’s opinion piece stirs controversy … Illinois to rule whether Rahm Emmanuel can run for mayor … Arsonist leaves fingertip at scene … Boehner looking forward to Obama speech … Facebook revolt shuts down Cairo … Nestle creating freakish superfoods to make you feel fuller … Science:  Whale rescued from ropes, Chopin may have had epilepsy, U.S. students suck at science … Lincoln City candlelight vigil … Mozilla and Google promise to add “do not track’ options … Entertainment:  Oscar nominations, Bret Michaels has a hole in his heart, and James Cameron is making more Avatars....

  • Monday, January 24th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    One person killed, two injured in shooting … Over 300 people killed in explosion at Moscow airport … Lincoln City cop wounded … Joe Lieberman won’t seek re-election … Screaming man impaled on fence … Undercover cops sleeping with anarchists … Boy frighten wolves with Megadeth … Science:  The kilogram may have to be adjusted, sleep may reinforce memory, Apple hits  1 billion downloads … Teenager stabs fellow because her feet are stinky … Barack Obama intends “zero tolerance” for homelessness … Entertainment:  Flavor Flav opens chicken restaurant, Zsa Zsa out of hospital, Oprah meets her secret sister … Old woman fights off burglar … Man makes bombs to clear snow.

  • Friday, January 21st, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....People stabbed at Dream on Saloon ... Shirts in MLK bomber backpack local …. Sherwood barber has to go back to school … Obama visits GE plant … Hubert Blackman, 22-yesr-old supergenius, sues Las Vegas hooker for illegally servicing him … Portland commute 23rd worst in nation … WikiLeaks source mistreated in prison … Portland PD cleared in shooting of homeless man … Science:  90-year-old tortoise gets new lady friends, chess experts have different brains, birds show dominance by lining nestys with plastic … Sandy River re-routed … White House to eliminate “dumb” laws … British people bet on Prince William’s wedding … Entertainment:  Jesse James and Kat Von D engages, George Clooney recovers from malaria, Sacha Baron Cohen to make Saddam Hussein movie, Taco Bell are prudes....

  • Thursday, January 20th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Cat revived after fire … SUV slams into ambulance … Pigeon smuggles drugs into jail … Ford building plant in Missouri assembly plant … Obama encouraged by meetings with Hu … Rep. Giffords moved to rehab hospital … Store owner cited for goats … Science:  Metallic glass is stronger than steel, 2010 one of warmest on record … Jared Laughner indicted … Ricky Gervais thanks those who supported him, Florence Henderson writing memoir, Anna Hathaway to play Catwoman … Federal agency says it’ll deal with fisheries killing sea lions....

  • Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Bomb found on MLK parade route … Hose begins health-care repeal process … McMenamins to open downtown hotel … Lions Club helps elephants to see … Woman sells breast milk on Craigslist … Obama taking meetings in China … Women arrested for selling Four Loko … Science:  People ate dogs 10,000 years ago, Betegeuse will explode and give us a second sun, and Sega makes Japanese toilet games … Oldest U.S. elephant dies … Inflatable sex toys are not flotation devices … Palin’s unfavorability at all-time high … Sargent Shriver dies … Entertainment: Orlando Bloom fathers a child, Melissa Etheridge heads to Broadway, Sting doesn’t want to eat dolphins, and Christina Hendricks looses a $850,000 bracelet....

  • Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Thieves steal food cart … Canby car burglar tackled … Boston lacrosse team offers mascot lap-dances during halftime … Guy gets arrested for riding his mule drunk … Half of Americans have pre-existing conditions … Pirate kidnappings at record high … Brett Favre retires! No, really … Science: College students learn nothing, Four Loko recycled for fuel, men may be allergic to their own sperm … Flooding in Sandy … Fake valet steal pregnant woman’s car at hospital … Huge cocaine bust in Spain … Entertainment: Rehis Philbin retiring, Martha Stewart head-butted by her dog....

  • Monday, January 17th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Storms bring floods to Northwest … Burlingame Fred Meyer to close for a few months. And it sucks … Republicans attend Hispanic Leadership Conference … Portland cracks down on giant signs … Willamette River is filled with poop … Rep. Giffords is doing better after having her eye socket repaired … Science:  BlackBerry agrees to filter porn in Indonesia, NASA astronaut hurt in bicycle, Billion-dollar yacht designed to look like Monaco … Baby Doc Duvalier returns to Haiti … Elephant crushes trainer.…

  • Friday, January 14th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Milwaukie Jamba Juice is robbed … Suspects arraigned for stealing giant mascot head … Guns sell like hotcakes in Arizona … 600 pot plants nabbed in Vancouver raid …  Pope John Paul II makes a move towards sainthood … Science:  The Japanese say they’ll clone a woolly mammoth soon, supercomputer to play Jeopardy champs,  Japanese kids don’t like sex … Purse mistaken for bomb, and blown up … 78 rabbits removed from home … 93-year-old gangster sent to prison … Entertainment: A.J. McLean is back in rehab, Colin Firth gets star on Walk of Fame, video games still selling, Spider-man musical pushed back to March....

  • Thursday, January 13th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Broadway Bridee to close, and streetcar to shut down … Timbers pick in MLS draft … Obama says that we should avoid partisan bickering … Science: Penguins harmed by banding, ‘Poo-Gloo’ digests sewage, Lasers beat pirates .. Atlanta gets snow … Australia floods, and that means sharks! … Man found pantsless and sleeping, with meth, at cemetery … Entertainment: Paula Abdul still sounds stoned, and Peter Fonda finds a dead guy....

  • Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....It snowed like crazy! Oh, wait. It didn’t … Washington nudists battle gun range … Panera opens pay-what-you-can location … Old man licks child … Trimet driver was hysterical … Science:  FDA helps with execution drugs, crying women turn off women, state files lawsuit against Johnson & Johnson … Jared Loughner rambled crazily on game forums … Giffords getting better … Entertainment:  Edward Furlong arrested, Matt Damon is boring, a remake of Total Remake will suck....

  • Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Gladstone Pizza Hut robbed at gunpoint … Seattle superhero gets his nose broken …Auburn bests Oregon in BCS game … Man pays for stolen car with meth … WikiLeaks founder heads to London … Mental evaluation ordered for acid-attack chick … Science:  Hubble telescope looks at green glob, Germans recall pigs, Romanian birds drank themselves to death, and Google creates language translator for Android … Arizona shootings may impact Palin’s presidential ambitions (or not) … Entertainment: Owen Wilson breeds, Peter Yates dies, The Wire actor releases a jazz album … Japanese guys get caught smuggling turtles....

  • Monday, January 10th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Gov. Kitzhaber begins third term today … Arizona shootings, and the flat-out crazy guy responsible … Weather here, and elsewhere, is getting snowy … Cal State L.A. accidentally disqualifies 500 students … Science: Mass animal deaths tracked by Google maps , Tampa airport moves runways because of magnetic shift, and music makes you happy … Man has 100 cats in a motor home … Entertainment: Denise Richards and Nikki Sixx not dating, Tim Burton’s kidney stones, the Kardashians’ lawsuit....

  • Friday, January 7th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Four Loko being sold again in Washington … Cops find 54 pounds of marijuana during traffic stop … we disappear from the airwaves briefly … Man sells teenage girl for $300 … Starbucks unveils a new logo … Oregon woman sentenced for having sex with dogs … Science:  Bacteria eat oil-spill methane, vulture arrested for spying, science journal to publish ESP paper … Americans split on health care repeal … Still unsure of why birds are falling from the sky … Entertainment: Jaime Pressly gets a DUI, Michael Jackson’s kids saw him unconscious....

  • Thursday, January 6th, 2011

    Rick Emerson's WakeFail results in a total lack of Legion of News for today; Rick Emerson regrets the error. And being born.


  • Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Head of TriMet union nailed for DUI … Anti-Police protestors damage building … Birds still dropping from sky … Woman sues Disney over Donald Duck groping … Science:  Being disgusted is good, astronauts could be fired, organic material found on Mars, and a panda cow is born … Man saved from suicide by trash pile … Fire at Universal Studios … Massage therapists sue Brett Favre … Entertainment:  Kevin James is boring, Sebastian Bach, John Mellancamp, and Mila Kunis are all on the market....

  • Monday, January 3rd, 2011

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Cops kill man with a knife … Navy investigates dumb, tasteless videos … Community-service work crew saves woman from knife-wielding transient … Democratic National Committee confident that Obama will be 2012 candidate … Man crushed by 6,000-pound granite slab … Science: Oil companies impatient with drilling permit process, 5,000 birds drop from the sky in Arkansas, Chinese to be most popular Internet language, and new diabetes tests for pregnant women … New red-light cameras in Beaverton … Entertainment:  Chuck Berry performs while sick, Valerie Bertinelli gets married, David Arquette in rehab, Swedish actor feared dead, and Hugh Grant grimaces … Idiot brings cocaine into jail with him....

  • Friday, December 31st, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    ....34,000 lbs. of ground beef recalled … Senate head wants to put kibosh on immigrant bill … Grand jury clears cop of shooting death … Oregon Aquarium rescues sea otter … Fake interview leads to Bieber boycott … Wired accused of protecting WikiLeaks founder … Science: We still have the same medical problems as 100 years ago, FDA warns against “sexual enhancement” drinks, tornado hits Arkansas … Minimum wage goes up in January … Porn producers offer to help out Octomom … Ryan Seacrest isn’t engaged....


  • Thursday, December 30th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ...Man shot in (believe it or not) Gresham … 100 birds seized in cockfighting bust … New York works to clean up after blizzard … Former president of Israel convicted of rape … FBI investigates Christine O’Donnell … Science: Cheetah cubs born, icky anti-smoking campaign blocked, botanists catalog all the species of plants … Food bank joins with marijuana dispensary for food drive … 30 Rock called the most “unethical” show on TV … Bulls escape in Pennsylvania … Insanely drun k woman manages to drive car … Rupert Everett slags on Jennifer Aniston, John Leguizamo to return to Broadway....

  • Wednesday, December 29th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Rock slide shuts down 99E … Man places Craigslist add, is robbed of iPhones .. Doge gets head stuck in wall … Virginia textbooks full of errors … WikiLeaks founder signs book deal … Sex game turns into real shooting … It’s raining in California … Science: Keep your phone warm … Man goes nuts with tomahawk … Kelsey Grammer is engaged, Reese Witherspoon is engaged, Brett Favre is fined, Spider-Man loses an actress … Woman fakes own kidnapping to test husband … Ski lift snaps; people scream....

  • Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man with machete shot in Portland … People still stranded in northeast storms … Middle school boys and girls to be separated … Five teenagers die in Florida hotel room … Hawaii’s governor to put slap-down on birthers … Science: Solar-powered charging stations, death by fried fish, Kindles sell like crazy, reindeer like ‘shrooms … Disney builds scary command center … Man charged with felony for reading wife’s e-mail … Elton John’s a dad, Natalie Portman’s pregnant, LeAnn Rimes is engaged … Man passes out in cab with portable meth lab....

  • Monday, December 27th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Giant storm strands thousands … Train full of birthday gifts for Kim Jong Un derails … Navy tests may harm whales … 12-car crash on I-5 … Man steals police car, gets shot, runs off without shoe … India’s space program is iffy, and the size your amygdale indicates how social you are … Amazon patents method for returning gifts before you get them … Octomom gets evicted … New Jersey woman wants to be the world’s fattest lady....

  • Friday, December 24rd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Man shoots self at traffic stop, dies … Republicans want iPads … Folks be shopping … Kenyucky to help bankroll creationist theme park … Possible Green River victim found … Science: Flower sharing bad for bees, giant rats detect tuberculosis … Police pepper spray shoppers rioting for Nikes … Scientists invent 3D food printer … Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson file for divorce, Stephen Baldwin sues Kevin Costner, Spider-Man performance doesn’t maim anyone....

  • Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Obama heads to Hawaii .. Woman crashes car into Staples … People wait in line to buy $175 Nikes … task force and safety measures in place after Spider-Man accidents … Santa mugged in Forest Grove … Shots fired in dog-grooming shop … Couple sues over botched vasectomy … Oklahoma man posts video of himself speeding on YouTube … Science:  8-year-olds publish study of bees, and the Japanese make mice that tweet like birds … Father and son sentenced to death for bombing … Jim Morrison’s bandmates would prefer an apology … Robbers drink 50 Cent's wine … Chloe Sevigny is creepy … Skype goes down....


  • Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Obama repeals Don’t Ask Don’t Tell … Cops seize 500 pot plants … Albany man burns wife’s house down … New York mayor pushes for health care for 9/11 responders’ … Longview man arrested for getting his mail naked … Science: Dinosaur beaks and poop-powered Christmas lights … A quarter of Army applicants are too stupid to pass the test … Robber identified by his dropped phone … Diane Sawyer tells White House security adviser about a terror alert … Abbey Road becomes a heritage site, and Call of Duty: Black Ops makes a fortune.

  • Tuesday, December 21st, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Portland police seize four pounds of heroin … Animal euthanasia drug used in human execution … Man kills himself, his bride and best man at wedding … The UN assembly building is stinky … School district settles lawsuit … Teenagers are too intense for email … Health care hates your freedom … Science:  Raccoon toilets and chimps with sticks … Blur gets back together … Shania Twain and Mutt Lange swap spouses....

  • Monday, December 20th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Description coming soon...

  • Friday, December 17th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....Police shoot a man during a neighborly dispute … Christmas Ship catches fire … Madoff payout grows by $7 billion … Gun found in pre-schooler’s backpack … Town bans student-teacher Facebook friendships … Scientists worry about theft on bio-weapons,  a magnetic bra hits the market, and kids are drinking a lot of caffeine … 40-Year-Old Virgin actor sentenced to life in prison … Julia Stiles says she’s not bonking Michael C. Hall …. Kelly Osborne gets foot surgery....

  • Thursday, December 16th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    ....East Portland has stinky water … Pedestrian is killed by a car … Student is hot by a falling backboard … Kidnapped prostitute stabs her kidnapper … Julian Assange is freed on bail … Oprah’s in Australia … Guy finds a box of skulls … Google gauges relative intelligence of websites … Scientists figure out how salvia gets you high, why female squirrels are so slutty, and the origins of Mexican wolf-dogs … Facebook ton use facial recognition … Aretha’s going home, Justin Bieber isn’t going to jail, and Mel Gibson has a talking beaver puppet....

  • Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Monday December 13th, 2010: We're in best-of mode today, and will return tomorrow with a brand-new show...see you then!

  • Friday, December 10th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


  • Thursday, December 9th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Dawn Taylor returns from her hospital sojourn for a thrill-packed episode of Legion of News, during which we talk about...well....who can remember? We were just glad to have her back.

  • Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Note: Eric D. Snider once again fills in for Dawn Taylor–Eric can also be heard Fridays at 11am at Cascadia.FM, where he co-hosts Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, and his writings can be found at Film.com and Cinematical.

  • Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Note: Dawn Taylor's husband, Patrick, has fallen ill, so as she deals with things on the doctor's office front, our good friend Eric D. Snider fills in at the news desk. Eric can also be heard Fridays at 11am at Cascadia.FM, where he co-hosts Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider, and his writings can be found at Film.com and Cinematical.

  • Monday, December 6th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Injured whale in Puget Sound … Ducks win Civil War … Ninth suspicious fire in Albany … Wikileaks shares “vital” government targets … Tourist in Egypt eaten by shark … NASA delays Discovery launch again …  Man in hospital after Droid explodes in his ear … Football legend Don Meredith dies … Steven Tyler calls woman with Lou Gehrig’s disease … Johnny Cash jumpsuit sells at auction … Winfrey picks Dickens for book club … Danny Bonaduce gets married....

  • Friday, December 3rd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Man is killed in Toronto library with crossbow … First murder effort at Disney’s perfect, manufactured community … Obama visits Afghanistan … Store offers beer and cigarettes for $1 … Fairview, Oregon to get gigantic aircraft carrier for its very own … Scientists invent “super rubber,” discuss arsenic-loving bacteria, and think there are 300 sextillion stars … High school football player penalized for pointing at God after touchdown … Simply Red frontman says he had sex with over 1,000 groupies … Jeremy Irons to appear on Law and Order: SVU....

  • Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....When is a kid a candy store? …. Alien life forms found! … Qatar beats U.S. to host World Cup … New MAX stop makes Gresham even classier … Mystery emu found … Science offers free trips to space, predicts a hard winter for Europe, and explains why teenage sharks are weak biters … Man found murdered in SE Portland … City council approve gun restrictions … John Boehner calls the extension of tax cuts for  wealthy “chicken crap” … Prayer vigil held for Aretha Franklin....

  • Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Police standoff ends peacefully …. Multnomah parole officer charged with leaving scene of accident … It’s World AIDS Day! … Smithsonian pulls “Ant-Covered Jesus” … Comcast is raising rates … Eating disorders among kids on the rise … Wikileaks founder wanted by Interpol … Scientists find alien life (maybe), NYC sends “organ preservation units” to 911 calls, and mice snot helps us understand the sense of smell … Dutch Bros. barista won’t face charges …. Spokane crosswalk sign give pedestrians the finger …. Disney employees strike, and Brian Blessed goes crazy when someone calls Flash Gordon “crap."....

  • Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Portland bomb suspect pleads guilty … 15-year-old holds classmates hostage … Obama meets with GOP … Snowball fight turns violent … Florida man killed in crash involving alligator … Man dies from fall at Soldier Stadium … Astronauts should eat more fish, government may disable cellphones in cars, the Chevy Volt rolls out, and Obama reviews medical experiments on humans … Couple’s roof is removed by mistake … Portland to see security changes after bomb threat … Stevie Wonder talks to Larry King, Johnny Depp says Disney hated Jack Sparrow, and Independent Spirit Awards are announced … American hikers are confused as to why they’re still detained in Iran....

  • Monday, November 29th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Guy attempts to detonate fake bomb at Christmas-tree lighting ceremony … Someone sets fire to Islamic center … Oregon number-one in nation in prescription drug abuse among young people! … Best Buy president says that people are buying shiny, expensive gadgets … Decomposed body found on beach … 51 drivers cited in Woodburn on Black Friday … Wikileaks makes everyone angry, including Hillary … Oregon to stop issuing exotic-pet permits … Scientists says polar bears are wussies, reverse age in mice, say that cleaning products may kill you, and save sea turtles … Woman sentenced for sex with teenagers … James Bond gun sells for $431,000 … Leslie Nielsen dies, and Willie Nelson is still smoking pot....

  • Friday, November 26th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Dutch Bros. barista shoots robber … Folks are out shoppin’ … Two Portland chicken coops catch fire … President Obama says we should count our blessings … Toys ‘R’ Us is selling stuff today … Man gets arrested after calling parents from lobby of police station … Obama not up-to-date on protecting endangered species … Teenage boys found drifting in South Pacific … Black-Eyed Peas to perform at half-time show; Three Broadway plays close early due to poor sales … German man threatens to repossess his ex’s breast implants … Basset hound saves little girl … Homeland Security to drop color codes....

  • Thursday, November 25th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Woman shoots husband, gets 20 years … Jury convicts Tom DeLay, and his family hates him … Passengers offer brilliant opinions on TSA pat-downs … Butterball says to cook your bird safely … Scary movie music sounds like screaming, people shop because of ingrained psychology, and lakes are getting warmer … Girl arrested for burning Koran and posting pics to Facebook … President Obama plans to eat some food … Use phone apps to track holiday shopping deals … Driver gets DUI in electric Barbie car … Billy Joel has new hips, and Tiger Woods is still sorry....

  • Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Man shoots stepson and cop … North Korea is peeved because Obama doesn’t return their phone calls … Natalee Holloway is still missing; A man named “Taco Stein” tells us about it … It’s TSA Don’t Grope My Junk Day! … Tiltes heads are hot, and an Apple 1 motherboard sells big at auction … Man dies from hypothermia on waterfront … Oh, no! No smelt! … The pope says condoms are fine for hookers and transsexuals … Robber steals pizza dough instead of cash … Blizzards! … U.S. corporations are making lots of money, thank god … Charlie Sheen totally didn’t offer hush money to the porn actress, says his lawyer … Bruce Willis pimps a Russian bank, and Jennifer Grey wins Dancing with the Stars....

  • Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

  • Monday, November 22nd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....OLCC bans alcohol-caffeine drinks … Anniversary of JFK assassination … Eugene teacher charged with assaulting women at U of O … Beekeeper shoots himself with bear booby-trap … People are still spending money for Christmas … Fire marshal says fry your turkeys safely … Girl’s hand is grafted to her leg … Conjoined twins can hear each other’s thoughts … Men are aroused by pumpkin pie … Pilots lock themselves put of cockpit … Rupert Murdoch launches iPad-only “newspaper” … Justin Bieber wins AMA awards … Dance troupe in camouflage freaks Lincoln Tunnel commuters....

  • Friday, November 19th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....North Korea has a nuclear reactor … Mt. Hood’s ski area opens … Harry Reid says the Democrats are still doing things … Police heard about Gert Boyle kidnapping before it happened, sort of … Fee proposed to help pay for Sellwood Bridge … $50,000 violin missing from Corvallis mobile home … Elephants: What’s up with that? … Roger Ailes apologizes for calling National Public Radio “the left wing of Nazism” … Scientists theorize invisibility cloak, find ancient noodles, and make the Philadelphia Eagles’ stadium green …  Thousands of fetuses found in Thai temple … Man in a van tries something at a bus stop … Batman comic sells for thousands … Wayne Newton to turn his house into a tourist attraction....

  • Thursday, November 18th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....The Barefoot Bandit pleads guilty … Palin says she’s probably running for President … Portland Tribune lists most dangerous intersections … Nudists support TSA regulations … Scientists say people really are psychic, stem cells work, and Nazis built flying saucers … Latin America baseball farms are like sporty prison camps … Rangel is wacky … Kings of Leon are still around … Couple find boa constrictor in their car....

  • Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Salem woman arrested in murder-for-hire plot … Four Loko to drop caffeine … New quarter features Mt. Hood … 1,500 gallons of sewage spills into Willamette … Florida governor wants to pardon Jim Morrison … Kid suspended for bringing gun-shaped lighter to school … $10 raffle could win you trip to space … TSA says religion is no excuse for escaping groping … Man shoots TV over Bristol Pain’s dancing … Ryan Reynolds: Sexiest Man Alive … Pink’s pregnant … Bill Nye the Science Guy reboots....

  • Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Students’ father sexes up her classmate on the Facebook … Mom stages fake funeral for not-dead daughter … George W. Talks about taking eyes off balls … Stolen meerkat found at Petco … Flying will be – wait for it – expensive during the holidays … Volt is the Car of the Year! … Spain does leg transplants! … New glowing squid is discovered! … Pee on your phone to find out of you have an STD … Middle schoolers OD on oxycontin … Oh, and the Beatles are on iTunes....

  • Monday, November 15th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Hooligans steal a disabled man’s tricycle in Gresham … The Italian Prime Minister may resign over a “bunga bunga” sex scandal … Man says no to TSA groping … Teenagers get into liquor cabinet and gun safe … Dive teams look for Kyron off Sauvie Island … Texas man killed by pet deer … Awesome “crime spree” criminal Mark Siebenmorgen gets his day in court … Obama says he still supports tax cuts … Stranded dolphins may be deaf … Whales are getting unburned … Harry Potter is sad … Bono cares deeply about stuff....

  • Friday, November 12th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Arsonist sets Elks Lodge on fire … Super-creepy man goes on freaky crime spree … John McCain’s wife advocates repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell … College kids stock up on Four Loko … DNA evidence proves a Texas man was wrongly executed … G20 uses goldfish to test water … Mummified dogs found in Peru … Intestinal worms – good for what ails you … Facebook to launch e-mail program, maybe … E. Coli-filled cheese is recalled …  Missouri lottery winner tries to sell her grandchild for cash....

  • Thursday, November 11th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

  • Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

  • Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Cop cars vandalized … Students petition to carry guns … Sex offenders hard to
    track when they take off their trackers … Kids who test too much are
    “hyper-texters” say people who make up new words … VP Biden says the U.S. and
    Israel are partners in bondage … Tailgating canceled at Duke … Sea lions are
    sick, the insecure turn to God, and birds are showing up with deformed beaks …
    Taylor Swift: Pop tart or marketing genius? … Gretchen Moll’s pregnant, and AMC
    renews Walking Dead … Cops catch car thief after he leaves his wallet and phone
    on stolen car....


  • Monday, November 8th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....President Obama visits India, and some folks don’t like it … Woman and her dog tangle with black bear … Climbers saved after misjudging length of their ropes … Monopoly celebrates 75th anniversary … Facebook post leads to arrest of underage drinkers … Missouri residents thwart Westboro Baptist Church … Fast food restaurants sell crap food to kids; Yale researcher seems surprised … Only children aren’t any more screwed up than other people … Frogs with extra legs found in New Mexixo … Dommsday Vault gets rice … Washington is chock-full of child prostitutes … Conan back on TV tonight … Rand Paul doesn’t know what “generality” means....


  • Friday, November 5th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....False alarm cause NASA lockdown … Nicaragua raids Costa Rica because of Google maps … Keith Olbermann donated to Democrats … Traffic changes in the Pearl … Chilean miner runs marathon … Space shuttle delayed again, etc. … Happy News: Service dog reunited with owner … Gay Spanish folks plan “queer kissing flashmob” to irritate the Pope … Twilight execs threaten action against fake Twilight exec … Megamind opens, but we have no idea what it’s about....

  • Thursday, November 4th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Kitzhaber defeats Dudley … Three condors from Oregon Zoo released into the wild … Baby attacked by raccoons … Hu’s the most powerful man in the world? … Man shoots wife while cleaning pistol … Emu runs through traffic … Deer crashes into classroom … Neanderthals were promiscuous, according to their fingers … Space shuttle once again scheduled … Newspaper adds four states to Union … Republicans vow to bring down health care reform … Guy in stolen car hits donut truck … First transgender athlete to play in NCAA … David Cassidy charged with DUI … Fans are happy that Ricky Martin’s gay....

  • Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Republicans take House, Dems keep the Senate … Oregon voters nix pot and casinos … Governor’s race still too close to call .. TriMet buses show wrong time … Space shuttle delayed again … Kids see stuff differently … Man stages fake fall in convenience store … San Francisco bans Happy Meals… Google app sends voters to wrong polls … Miley Cyrus’ mom slept with Bret Michaels … Leo DiCaprio to star in adaptation of Erik Larsen’s Devil in the White City … Film academy honors Godard … Cirque du Soleil/Michael Jackson crossover planned … Harry is not just Dracula!....

  • Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....It’s election day, and Obama hits the talk-show circuit … Vancouver mom steals terminally ill kid’s pain meds … Baseball, World Series, Giants, etc. … McMinnville hillbillies vieotapoe their kids a-fightin’ … Guy kidnaps girls from haunted house at deaf school … Bees are smart! … The military wants to make people dumb! … Europe oversleeps, thanks to the iPhone … “Governor Schwarzenegger” is still a funny thing to say … Cameras in Barbie dolls could be used for naughty purposes … Christine O’Donnell is not a powerful speaker … Charlie Sheen files for divorce, Slash doesn’t … Oprah gets ready to launch her OWN network....

  • Monday, November 1st, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]


    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Trail Blazers legend Maurice Lucas dies … Obama gives out Halloween candy … Streets in the Pearl District go back to being the normal level of annoying and impassable … Man shoots wife in shoulder, is surprised and angry when police respond … China hires 6 million census workers to count 1 billion people … JFK speechwriter and adviser Theodore Sorenson dies … Even Brett Favre can’t believe he’s still playing football … Chupacabras are just mangy coyotes … Scientists rewire mice so they can “smell” light … Owner of illegal daycare found passed out drunk in van with two kids … Alcohol is more damaging to society, study says, because more people drink … Ted Nugent is awesome, even when he’s on stage with Sarah Palin …  Director George Hickenlooper dies....


  • Friday, October 29th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....A college student disappears on her way to school … Halliburton used shoddy cement on the Deepwater Horizon well … Obama hits the campaign trail to support Democratic candidates … Man is hot by train … Kids report mom’s murder, but it turns out to be a wacky prank … Armed man robs a Washougal market … Suspicious packages investigated by feds … NASA plans one-way trips to Mars … Don’t worry about the deadly monkey virus! … Man dies from caffeine overdose/stupidity … School board guy resigns for being a homophobic dumbass … HBO renews Eastbound and Down … Randy Quaid seeks refugee status in Canada … Saw 3D hits theaters.... this weekend.


  • Thursday, October 28th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Mom kills baby for interrupting her Farmville game … The World Series in underway … The missing headstone is found! … President Obama visits with John Stewart … Storms go crazy throughout the middle of the country … Pet frogs give kids salmonella … Robots get grippier … Japanese parents use creepy tech to watch their kids … Woman shoots fiancé while hunting … Comcast operators allow woman to bleed to death … Miley’s folks split … Writer sues Oprah … Mariska Hargitay speaks boringly about domestic violence … Justin Timberlake is a scoundrel, and Olivia Munn is hot … Obama sex-ed plans annoys everyone....


  • Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....The state of Arizona uses non-FDA approved drug in execution … Mushroom picker Dodie Throssel found dead … Disgruntled air-waiter talks to Larry King … New snub-nosed monkey discovered, and it looks like Michael Jackson … Spray-on DNA mist used for theft prevention … Family dog found in stolen car … Headstone stolen from cemetery … James Cameron just won’t stop with the damn Avatar … Charlie Sheen, blah blah blah … Hobbit movies will be made in New Zealand after all … Dog eats 31 roofing nails....


  • Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Home circumcision of infant goes bad … Man arrested with 20 pounds of pot … Woman gets stomped at Rand Paul debate … College students overdose on Four Loko … Report finds most “green products” are lying … There are taste buds in your lungs … Some men can’t take no for an answer … Charlie Sheen is crazy … South Park creators apologize for stealing from CollegeHumor.com....


  • Monday, October 25th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    An Oregon woman shoots a guy in the face … Alligator eats 50 lb. dog … Saudi Arabia is a “tough neighborhood,” so we sell them some weapons … A body is found in an apartment, along with jars of mysterious fungus … A local man is convicted of murder, and his mugshot is awesome … New TSA scanners at JFK – and yes, they can see you naked! … A college grad gets to live in the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry for a month … A lot of women lose interest in sex, but most of the them don’t really care … A three-legged cat is named Cat of the Year …


  • Friday, October 22nd, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News..

    ....A Tigard man deals with a dead snake in his furnace and a cat stuck in the fireplace … Man sets fire to himself and walks into the hospital … A crazy guy sets fire to a shopping mall … Plane crash is credited to escaped crocodile … They’re washing the Vista Ridge tunnel … Obama chats with Seattle neighbors … We have no idea what’s in placebos … Celery recalled because of poop … High-school student smuggles a chicken … Lindsay Lohan, back in rehab … Glee girls in GQ (sexy!)....


  • Thursday, October 21st, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ...President Obama visits Portland … An old woman wanders off while picking mushrooms … Clinton lost the nuclear codes for several months … A woman kills her romantic rival by sabotaging a parachute … Brett Favre has nothing to say about his penis … California may make marijuana legal, or not … Smart kids grow up to be drunks … 1968’s Playmate of the Year shoots her boyfriend … ‘Penthouse’ founder dies … John  Lennon: Still Dead … Nicolas Cage speaks to the U.N. … Pro-America group protests Obama at Italian sausage shop...


  • Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Three teenagers hit by a car ... Obama's in UR town, tyin up UR traffic ... A pilot refuses to be x-rayed ... Unemployment in oregon stays the same ... Teachers are using Facebook inappropriately ... Jean-Claude Van Damme has a heart attack ... The Simpsons are/aren't Catholic ... Donny and Marie head for Broadway....

  • Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ...A federal judge will rule on delaying the “don’t ask, don’t tell” order … Visitors to Australia asked to declare their illegal porn … Man found dead at Tillamook Cheese Factory … NATO thinks they know where Osama bin Laden is hiding, maybe, sort of … Portland ranked third best city for trick-or-treating … The Mayan apocalypse calendar thing is all wrong, according to actual scientists … Bad acupuncture klills people … Astoria woman arrested in fake-surrogacy scam … College bans Four Loco...


  • Monday, October 18th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Hiker killed by angry goat … Kyron’s parents raise funds in a pumpkin patch … Obama’s coming to town … Ladies get randy during ovulation … Blood test can detect concussion … POTUS to appear on Mythbusters … Tiny woman plays roulette with uterus … Celine Dion in the hospital ….

  • Friday, October 15th, 2010


  • Thursday, October 14th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....Folks in La Pine are warned after a cougar kills two goats ... All teh Chilean miners are freed (including one guy with a wife and a mistress waiting) ... Sharks don;t have such a great sense of smell after all ... The word "sexting" is stupid ... Scirntists teach a robot to punch people ... The rapper T.I talks a guy down from a ledge ... Gavin Rossdale slept with a dude ... A kid has his bike stolen by two gorillas and a chicken....

  • Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....Drunk guy drives on MAX tracks and stalls morning traffic ... The Chilean miners are finally coming out of their pit of despair ... A mosque is vandalized with bacon ... TriMet drivers still on the job ... Hip-hop band shuts down L.A. freeway ... A federal judge orders military to stop enforcing "don't ask, don't tell" ... Pigeons like to gamble! ... Robot census! ... Squeezable cellphones! ... Mexican invenstigator's head tiurns up in a suitcase ... David Arquette tells Howard Stern that he had sex with a waitress ... Andy Richter to return as Conan's sidekick....


  • Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    ...Vancouver's city council opposes new liquor initiatives ... Obama tries to whip up enthusiasm among young Democrats ... Portland installs a special traffic signal for bikes ... Larry King talks to Harmid Karzai ... Beaverton residents get uppity about lingerie modeling businesses ... A new mongoose-ish animal is found in Madagascar ... Malaysia uses lab mosquitoes to fight dengie fever ... Students drink more when they study abroad ... Christina Aguilera splits with her husband ... 'Transformers' car crashes into police car ... Child watches as his pet turtle is eaten by crocodile....

  • Monday, October 11th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    A cardboard sign points to dead body ... Gas prices rise again ... 12 students are drugged at a Washington party ... One Congressional candidate accuses another of mob connections ... Whales go after krill, get hit by ships ... Watching TV and playing video games is, still, again, bad for children ... Food affects brain chemistry like drugs ... Killer whale gives birth ... More talk about Brett Favre's penis ... Justin Bieber sells nail polish ... No 3-D for next 'Harry Potter' ...  'The Social Network still number-one ...George Michael is free to drink and drive...

  • Friday, October 8th, 2010

    Description coming soon...

  • Thursday, October 7th, 2010

    Description coming soon...

  • Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

    Description coming soon...

  • Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

    [Made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    ....Man hit by five vehicles when he walks across I-5 … A station wagon smashes through the front of a store … A homeowner shoots and intruder in the leg … A restaurant employee sets his boss’s car on fire … Rutgers University holds a vigil for Tyler Clementi … Armed men duct tape a teenager and pour boiling butter on his mom … Physicists win Nobel for carbon “wonder material” … Scientists develop non-sticky chewing gum …Ozzy covers John Lennon … Betty White likes sex … Albanians mourn British comic … Hindus protest Pakistani reality-show contestants....

  • Monday, October 4th, 2010

    [Legion of News is made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News...

    ....Searchers scour Sauvie Island for Kyron Horman clues … Public meeting tonight on new Sellwood Bridge … Kangaroo gets tail damaged in zoo-train accident … Travel alert issued for Europe … A man is stabbed after a five-person fight at Lloyd Center MAX station … The “father of invitro fertization” get Nobel Prize … Verizon admits overcharging 15 million customers … Scientists explain “toasted skin syndrome” … New survey on sex finds that people like doin’ it … Craigslist ad offers free child … ‘Die Hard’ director gets one year in prison for lying during Pellicano investigation … Jenny McCarthy is really, really stupid....

  • Friday, October 1st, 2010

    [Legion of News is made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ....The Hawthorne Bridge will be closed briefly for repair … Obama gives speech
    criticizing Republicans for “strategic inaction” … A man’s body is found in a
    burnt mobile home … Oregon hunter gets a arrow in the head … Man is angry after
    bikini-wearing cops give him crap about his beverage … The ‘Where’s Waldo’
    robber left behind a book with his name in the front …


  • Thursday, September 30th, 2010

    [Legion of News is made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....Portland woman gives birth to identical triplets … Ex-cop cleared of molestation charge after 20 years … World War I is finally over! … Actor Tony Curtis, dead at 85 … UFOs may have disarmed nuclear weapons. Or not. … There’s another planet that’s “just right” for human life … Meg Whitman says that claims she hired an illegal nanny are damned, dirty lies … Student jumps off bridge after roommate videotapes him having sex … Boxes of Chad Ochocinco’s cereal offer the number of a sex hotline … Fisher-Price recalls 10 million tricycles that could cause “genital bleeding.”....


  • Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

    [Legion of News is made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    … Bullies are throwing peanuts at kids with food allergies … The
    acid-in-the-face woman pleads no-contest to theft for talking donations … Online
    sleazeball nabbed after arranging to meet FBI agents he thought were kids … LL
    Cool J hasn’t released a record in a while … A sculpture of Kevin Bacon made
    from bacon is on eBay … Jeffrey Jones gets probation after not updating his
    sex-offender status … ‘Hells Kitchen’ contestant kills himself … Lawyer files
    suit when boss insists he go to clothing-optional mens' retreat...


  • Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

    [Legion of News is made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ....Driver on cell phone hits cop on I-205 … L.A. hits a record high of 113 … A tree-trimmer is decapitated when a rope around is neck is sucked into a wood chipper … A man’s arrested for taking pictures under women’s skirts at Wal-mart … Killer whales attack humpback off Oregon Coast … An armed man surrenders after a stand-off in Sherwood …  A body found in the Willamette is identified … David Simon, creator of The Wire, gets a MacArthur Fellowship grant … Jay Leno calls the Irish prime minister a “drunken moron”....

  • Monday, September 27th, 2010

    [Legion of News is made possible by our friends at Squires Electric, the full service electrical contractor for all your residential and commercial needs. Contact them at  503.252.1609, or at www.squireselectric.com.]

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News...

    ....Clerk pistol-whips check-cashing employee … Trial starts for murder of guy who trained Eddie Vedder’s dog … Guy dressed as Elmo gets in fight at Guitar store … Transgendered high-school student is denied title of homecoming king … Fatal crash may have been caused by driver taking Ativan … Peruvian mayor is blackmailed by rivals who steal his dead father’s skull … A whole lot of shooting in Portland at 2 a.m. may have been gang related … UN to appoint astrophysicist “take me to your leader person” for contact with aliens … The Facebook movie is on the way....


  • Friday, September 24th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News...

    School bus driver is arrested on child pornography charges … A Virginia woman is executed for murder … Woman fights off bear with a zucchini … Bank overdraft rules still changing, somehow … Woman attacked by man she met at 7-11 … Cities help make people stronger, immunity-wise … Scientists provide prisons with “pain ray” to keep inmates in line … Students denied rainbow-colored equality cupcakes Lindsay Lohan fails her drug test, goes back to jail again … Comic does Guinness-record-breaking stand-up gig for 40 hours … Stephen Colbert speaks to Congress … Ray Charles Memorial Library opens.


  • Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....Tri-Met driver fired over Kindle reading … A man covered with blood is arrested for robbery … Virginia to execute the first woman in almost a century … A woman flips off, then flashes, Sherwood cops before leading them on a “slow-speed chase” … 50 pilot whales stranded on New Zealand beach … Kids are learning to swear earlier … Grab a bottle and a bucket:  Obama gives a speech on Mideast peace to the U.N. … Fall is here! … 1,500 pills a month doesn’t mean Anna Nicole was an addict … Creepy Madonna fan arrested with spray-paint and ice pick … Sesame Street drops Katy Perry appearance … New ‘American Idol’ judges announced....

  • Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....‘Where’s Waldo’ robs a bank … ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ still in effect … Canada wants Washington state to pay customs expenses … Folks are disillusioned by Obama … Craigslist, prostitution – in Ashland? What? … Utility works find million-year-old animal fossils … Scientists figure out how to see through stuff … Lantern is lit by methane from dog poop … A man asks for help transferring data to his new iPhone – including his kiddy porn collection … Texas college asks Lindsay Lohan to stop wearing their school’s shirt … the Hoff is kicked off ‘Dancing with the Stars’ …


  • Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News....

    ....Man is stabbed with steak knife at Hospitality Inn … Elderly mushroom picker goes missing … W. Oregon loses power thanks to suicidal squirrel … Doctors use laser to kill patient’s eyeball worm … Genetically altered salmon are on the way … Acid-attack woman charged with fraud … Randy Quaid and his wife are arrested for squatting in their old house … Ex-KOIN news director sentenced … Pub to open in funeral home....

  • Monday, September 20th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News....

    ....12-year-old kids steal a van … Acid-Face Chick’s parents say they’re sorry she’s a big liar … Bill Maher says he’ll play Christine O’Donnell clips every day until she comes back on his show … Nuns feud! Rumble imminent! … A panda gives birth to her eighth cub … PETA recognizes firefighters for saving camel … Gulf oil well is dead, but the ocean’s still screwed … Vancouver city councilwoman becomes laughingstock on YouTube … Kelly McGillis marries her girlfriend … Russell Brand defends Katy Perry’s honor at airport.

  • Friday, September, 17th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News....

    ....Woman confesses to throwing acid in the own face … Tri-Met driver nailed for reading Kindle on I-5 … It’s National Parking Day! … Crab meat projects recalled … Absent dads responsible for early puberty in girls … Hole to save Chilean miners gets bigger … Guy steals roofing tiles, crashes into electrical transformers … Republican “civil war” over-stated … Winfrey choose Franzen for book club … Bob Barker collapses at shooting range....


  • Thursday, September 16th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News....

    ....The Mill City fire was set on purpose … Don’t go in the Willamette! Even more than before! … A child is injured when he dangles from IKEA’s escalator … The ‘Made iin Oregon’ sign is ours now … Boeing offers space-taxi rides … There’s still oil in the ocean (thanks, BP!) … The Republicans don’t like the Democrats …  Hey, the poverty level’s up! … A car falls into Crater Lake....

  • Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News....

    ....A Clark County deputy’s child shoots himself … GOP candidates win a number of primaries … Firefighters save a camel … A truckload of squid causes traffic problems … A decapitated body is found after a pipe bomb explodes … Man wants to secede from neighborhood … Researchers have mapped the chocolate genome … Walruses are all over the place … Dawn and Rick get off track, and talk about balloon fetishes … A man hits his brother with a hammer … Hootie & the Blowfish get a memorial … Josh Brolin hasn’t cheated on his wife.


  • Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News....

    Nurse reunites with heart-attacked football player on the “Today” show … A team of criminals get nabbed for stealing information from doctors’ and lawyers’ offices … The EPA is investigating whether blowing up underground formations to reach natural gas deposits might be somewhat dangerous to population centers … Video games are good for you! … A boy is bitten by a snake hiding in the wall … Somebody’s  shot in SE Portland again … The most recent Trifecta of Dead Actors is revealed.

  • Monday, September 13th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News....

    ....A body’s found in a creek “where transients are known to drink” … A loyal pitbull chases off home invaders and protects family … Lady Gaga wins a lot of Video Music Awards, makes Cher hold her meat purse … Barack Obama nixes solar panels on White House roof … Robots get even scarier, with skin that “feels” and programs that allow them to be sneaky … It’s National Chlamydia Day! (In Sweden.)....


  • Friday, September 10th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News...

    ....A Vancouver man shoots a guy in the face … A nurse secretly videotapes people in a hospital bathroom … Crazy asshat talks about burning books; political analyst David Gergen calls him a “jerk” … Austrailian students invent a tractor beam … Stephen Hawking doesn’t think God is necessary … A convicted killer complains that his death sentence is overly harsh … Flaming drinks ignite a college apartment … 13-year-old sends her phone number to “Justin Bieber” on Facebook; Shockingly, it’s not really him....

  • Thursday, September 9th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....Grafitti vandals target new Mormon church ... The White House calls the burning of the Quran "a monumentally terrible idea" ... Corvallis cops look for a man who groped a woman's buttocks ... taffic deaths are down, because no one can afford to go anywhere ... Adults are eating less vegeatables -- and when they do, they eat potatoes ... Google makes searching for porn even quicker ... A badger escapes from the zoo....

  • Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ...Asteroids are headed towards Earth! ... Your kids' booster seats may not be safe... BP takes some responsibilty for the oil spill, sort of .... Hillary Clinton says that burning the Quran isn't a good idea....

  • Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ....John Lennon's killer is denied parole yet again ... Someone steals the idea of flinging acid in a stranger's face ... NASA says not to give the trapped Chilean miners booze and cigarettes ... The zoo opens a new orangutan exhibit ... Magic mushrooms make having cancer more fun ... A guy ex[poses himself to kids at Barnes & Noble ... The MDA telethonm earns $59 million, and Jerry Lewis is old and creepy....

  • Monday, September 6th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News...

    ....Trooper runs red light and crashes into cars … 16-year-old “very remorseful” after spray-painting racial slurs and threatening to burn down a family’s home … Portland gamer seeks to beat Missile Command record … Man falls off top of Butte Creek Falls, dies … SCIENCE NEWS: Self-healing plastics and dogs with bad hips … Seattle sign hacked to read “Eat My Shorts” … Old pilot crashed plane into house....

  • Friday, September 3rd, 2010

    ....Police release sketch of acid-throwing woman ... Cops say don't drink and drive ... Famous Tasmanian Devil succumbs to face cancer ... Paul "Crocodile Dundee" Hogan stuck in Australia for tax reasons ... Brooks & Dunn end their 20-year career....

  • Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....TriMet driver accused of texting while behind the wheel … A bear is killed after causing property damage … Guy steals ambulance with paramedic still in the back … The FDA may make it hard for you to buy cough medicine … Apple unveils Apple TV … A stranded whale is euthanized via explosives....


  • Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....Joe Biden still exists, despite the fact that we keep forgetting about him....Female news soundbite may be most annoying sound ever....What the hell is "bio-mass"?....AMC continues its perfect batting average for original series....


  • Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ....Breaking Bad continues to clean up at Emmys...Reese Witherspoon has a detente with paparazzi....The home-buying market continues to suck wind....Economy passes something called "The Hindenberg Point"....


  • Monday, August 30th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News...

    ....Teens advertise a broken iPad for sale, then mug the guy who answers the ad … A fake torpedo is found at a construction site … NASA says that a sun storm is due that’ll knock out “the entire [planet’s power grid” … They’re growing corneas in laboratories! … A local 13-year-old dies in a crash at Indianapolis Motor Speedway … St. Helens teens dress as KKK members … Why do we call them “little people," anyway?....


  • Friday, August 27th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News...

    ....Owner of Mt. Hood Skibowl convicted of hit-and-run ... Glenn Beck's rally is "nonpartisan," he says ... Science News: Dry water and cave bears ... Can cops put a tracking device on your car without a warrant? ... Harry Connick, Jr. says New Orleans has bounced back ... Julio Iglesias gets married ... A plane full of people are accidentally told they're about to crash....


  • Thursday, August 26th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....Two men are arrested in connection with a "hate crime attack" ... An SUV crashes into a semi at a rest stop ... The camera falls off a police chopper and smashes a car ... Thousands are cited for violating cell phone laws ... Surprise! Teenagers still smoke cigarettes!....

  • Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....Upskirt photo suspect detained, beaten, beaten some more....Chilean miners in for worst Thanksgiving ever....Remains of foolish climber to be retrieved from Mt. Hood....Lindsay Lohan is a "changed person" says mouthpiece....


  • Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ...Corvallis police arrest naked OSU football player ... A greeter at Walmart turns 100 ... Hand sanitizer may help workers stay healthier ... Sea World is fined for OSHA violations ... A woman on bike a collides with a garbage truck...

  • Monday, August 23rd, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News...

    ...A bride is arrested for DUII on her wedding day … Texting is, for teens, “just like heroin … Yellowstone bears might eat you if you aren’t careful … Headless bodies are dangled from Mexico City bridge … A man commits suicide at a Swell Season concert …The Islamic Republic unveil the “Ambassador of Death” aircraft...


  • Friday, August 20th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News....

    ....A Portland man is shot in the face … Seven local football players are taken to the hospital after a decidedly not homoerotic workout incident … The moon is shrinking … A Florida woman runs down a man she mistakenly believes is her rapist … President Obama isn’t a Muslim, dammit … Dozens of (possibly evil) whales are stranded on a New Zealand beach ... Jennifer Aniston uses the word "retard"....

  • Thursday, August 19th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....You mess with the bull, you get the horns -- literally....Gordon Ramsey apparently has fifteen television programs....It seems that claims about Gulf oil suddenly "disappearing" might be, you know-- lies....Chimps even smarter/more dangerous than we thought....

  • Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

    Note: due to a technical error, today's program -while complete- is shorter than our usual broadcasts, clocking in at about 40 minutes in length.

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....Rod Blagojevich will be re-tried....Dr. Laura finds new ways to offend; be melodramatic....Ladies: Marilyn Manson now single....Courtney Love now has enough money to buy her own drugs....

  • Tuesday, August 17th, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ...."Mosque" shaping up to be most-used word during 2012 election....Guy jumps off cliff to avoid being seen by police; is seen by coroner instead....Michael Douglas battles throat cancer....Gulf seafood is either safe or lethal, depending on whom you ask....

  • Monday, August 16th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News...

    ....Mosque controversy continues to annoy all the right people....Adorable bear gets adorable jat stuck on his adorable head....James Cameron spends his birthday on a fantastical journey beneath the waves....This just in: bacteria can smell....They're cloning steaks from dead cows. Tasty, tasty steaks....

  • Friday, August 13th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News...

    ....More non-news continues to emanate from the Kyron Horman info-factory....Sylvester Stallone slowly morphing into Brando, but only vocally....Scott Pilgrim promises to be equal parts great and irritating....Dawn Taylor makes no secret of her thoughts on breast-feeding....

  • Thursday, August 12th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News....

    ....Court tells anti-gay-marriage folks to suck it -- again....Stabbing enthusiast arrested, jailed, will now become shivving enthusiast....Jessica Alba is incredibly dull....Sir Mix-a-Lot is 47; Kid Sensation is timeless....BP claims that it's paying a "hefty" fine, and "learning its lesson"....


  • Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

    Among the items on Wednesday's Legion of News....

    ....Hillary Clinton may or may not be preparing to invade Russia....Lindsey Lohan continues to be the least-interesting celebrity criminal ever....Ernest Borgnine may or may not be connected with Kyron Horman's disappearance....


  • Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

    Among the items on Tuesday's Legion of News....

    ....Sen. Ted Stevens perishes in a plane crash....Laurence Fishburne's daughter to become porn star....Jet Blue flight attendant goes awesomely off-the-reservation....Nature takes out the trash in Idaho....Glow-in-the-dark shrimp pose no threat, supposedly....


  • Monday, August 9th, 2010

    Among the items on Monday's Legion of News....

    ....Microphones will stop working, suddenly and unexpectedly -- and often right as you're beginning a broadcast....Dawn Taylor vamps while Rick traces down the technical glitch....News of the inane and puzzling continues unabated....Legion of News eventually triumphs over technological demons....


  • Friday, August 6th, 2010

    Among the items on Friday's Legion of News....

    ....The moral is: don't try to tow one lawnmower with another....The summer's ogligatory "kid's lemonade stand shut down by The Man" story arrives....BP says something or other about the oil spill....Obama mouths some sort of platitude about restoring jobs....Sandra Bullock gets restraining order against stalker....


  • Thursday, August 5th, 2010

    Among the items on Thursday's Legion of News....

    ....Five-year old (now found) went missing for quite some time....The Bike-Riding Butt Grabber strikes again....Thad Allen says "we're not done yet."....Bats threatened by strange fungus....Gresham man arrested for stealing luggage....

  • Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

    Among the items on Wednesday's Legion of News....

    ....Max riders taunt fellow passengers; fellow passengers turn out to be cops; hilarity ensues....NASA unveils the unimaginatively-named "space robot"....Bristol Palin once again single....Tea Party finds minority member to claim it's not a racist organization....

  • Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

    Among the items on Tuesday's Legion of News....

    ....American workers continue to go nuts in the office....Man killed in gyrocopter crash....Breeding is changing dogs' brains....Billy Cosby is alive; and wishes that would be made clear....Woman stabs boyfriend's groin....

  • Monday, August 2nd, 2010

    Among the items on Monday's Legion of News....

    ....700 planets discovered -- what?....Iraq timetable stays the same; in other news, there's an Iraq timetable....Coast Guard reports excessive chemicals in the Gulf; no, not those chemicals, other ones....


  • Friday, July 30th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News...

    ....Rick is cranky, but denies it....100 Portlanders protest Arizona law -- from the safety of home....Animal abuser will eventually get what's coming to them....Sara Gilbert = full-on gay....Dwarf porn star takes cop off his beat....


  • Thursday, July 29th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....Barack Obama guests on The View....Rick & Dawn have a grammatical slap-fight....Bad things keep happening to the space station....How big is the space station, anyway?....Upskirt filmer caught; has bad hair/bad face day....

  • Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....Creepy polygamist guy released to have more creepy polygamist sex....Portland streets will continue to be clogged and impassable for quite some time....First wheelchair-specific vehicle created and released....

  • Monday, July 26th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News:

    ....Summer is truly here: first drowning-filled weekend arrives....Area rivers are either deceptively wide or deceptively narrow -- one of the two....France says it's a good idea to use correct airplane parts; also to install them properly....Wikileaks breaks the news that our wars might not be going as splendidly as the government claims....


  • Friday, July 23rd, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News:

    ....Porn-store robberies committed by threesome....Penguin group suicide?....Rick still unsure about what "Climate Change" means....Owls are coming for all of us....

  • Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News:

    ....Two more women claim Al Gore wanted "something" "handled"....Hillary Clinton visits Myanmar, which is also, for some reason, Burma....Nancy Pelosi is unintelligible and drunk-sounding....Thousands more apply for unemployment....

  • Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News:

    ....NAACP story turns out to be far less interesting than originally thought....Sarah Palin keeps making up words....Lindsey Lohan won't get to keep her fake hair in jail....Maimings and arrests keep the Portland police department busy, amused....


  • Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News:

    ....Man sees squirrel; aims; fires; is killed by severed tree branch. Circle of life completes.....World's most generic soundclip is played during story about hybrid vehicles....Lindsey's Lohan's prison time begins....Bobcat vs. chicken coop, or: outskirts of Portland vs. 21st century....


  • Monday, July 19th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News:

    ...What happens when four men attempt to fire a "homemade cannon-type device"?....BP oil cap is leaking "something"....GOP prepares for bitter -and likely entertaining- campaign....RuPaul continues to be fabulous....



  • Friday, July 16th, 2010

    ....Apple still insists you're holding it wrong, but gives you new accessory with which to do so....Oil leak is stopped, or slowed, or not affected at all, depending on who's talking....Woman impaled on fence; has long 90 minutes in which to ponder her mistakes....Ancient wooden ship found underneath WTC....

  • Thursday, July 15th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ....Al Gore's masseuse seems to have -wait for it- failed her polygraph....Kelly Osbourne dumps her douchebag fiance....When did "illegal" become "undocumented"?....VH1 airing a show devoted to curing OCD....Americans may be working until they're 90 years old....Heather has two uteruses....


  • Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....Joe Biden mumbles something about the economy; no one listens....Bristol Palin's child to be a bastard no longer....You need not be an Oregon resident to fill your marijuana prescription....Dawn tries to explain rudimentary physics/oil-drilling logistics to Rick....Multiple shows about flesh-eating organisms hit the airwaves tonight....


  • Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ....George Steinbrenner is giving heart attacks in heaven....The saga of Kyron Horman gets weirder....Al Gore, his tongue, and bit of alleged "shoving"....A great mugshot accompanies a truly off-putting story....Man loses hand to alligator, calls 911....


    Monday, July 12th, 2010

    Among the stories on Today's Legion of News...

    ....If you can escape from a squad car while drunk, you're either: a) not that drunk, or  b) in a squad car which isn't built all that well....Mel Gibson = LifeFail....Christopher Nolan will not feature The Joker in his the next Batman film....Where do marijuana dispensaries get their pot?....Roman Polanski goes free, again....


  • Friday, July 9th, 2010

    Among the stories on Friday's Legion of News...

    ....What does it mean to pass a polygraph with "flying colors"?....You never know exactly who might be plotting your death....What do LeBron James and the D.C. snipers have in common?....Why are the tops of old gas stations always covered with rocks?....

    Thursday, July 8th, 2010

    Among the stories on Thursday's Legion of News...

    ...Extending unemployment benefits will either ruin or fix the economy, and will either create more or fewer jobs....Emmy nominations are released; True Blood pulls Jedi mind trick on selecting committee....Pimping ain't easy, or, as one man learns, legal....Oil and water don't mix, but they will be co-existing for quite some time...


  • Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

    Among the stories on Wednesday's Legion of News...

    ....If you were Lindsay Lohan, what's the worst thing you could have painted on one of your fingernails?....The Kyron Horman family continues to devolve into the world's most unpleasant reality show....Squid -and their tentacled bretheren- are coming for all of us....Are kids biting each other as part of the world's lamest high school trend?....

  • Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

    Among the stories on Tuesday's Legion of News...

    ....Which one of the Manson Girls is up for parole?....What happens when you're making your own fireworks in an unventilated garage during the summer months?....Where will Lindsay Lohan be spending the next three months?....What would you do if you were fishing, and reeled in a bag of bones?....What's the craziest thing they could possibly plug the BP oil spill with?

  • Monday, July 5th, 2010

    Among the stories on Monday's Legion of News...

    ...Who (allegedly) tries to hire a landscaper as a hitman?....Melissa Etheridge's now-ex Twitters about the breakup in haiku form...The first nailgun story of the summer arrives....Get ready for more traffic, as the Broadway Bridge prepares to close....Scientists take pictures of the Big Bang, again....


  • Friday, July 2nd, 2010

    Among the stories on today's Legion of News:

    ....Mel Gibson goes crazy(er)....Our Friday edition of Science on the March explains why one bad moment can ruin your whole day....The new star of Spider-Man is officially cast....The weather never, ever makes a good story....Legion of News
    will be live on Monday the 5th...

  • Thursday, July 1st, 2010

    Among the stories on today’s Legion of News:

    ....Just in time for summer, a woodchipper accident makes the news....A massive sea monster with 15-inch teeth is found in the desert....Dawn Taylor receives a horrible photo from the audience....The Portland Police shoot at someone who was, quite literally, asking for it....Futurama airs its second new episode tonight....

  • Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

    Among the stories on today’s Legion of News:

    ....Larry King's retirement announced; elipses fans saddened and shocked....Elizabeth Edwards still in the news for some reason....TV reporter sounds way too excited about a creepy story involving porn....Rube loses hands while creating M-80s with "stuff [he] found on the Internet"....

  • Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

    On Tuesday's Legion of News:

    ....The eventual development of a Skynet/Feline hybrid came one terrible step closer today....Exactly how do they clean sewage, anyway?....We're sure it's just a coincidence when a missing child's stepmother is singled out by many of the authorities' questions....That girl from Airheads gets busted for drunk driving....That guy from Motley Crue gets busted for drunk driving....

  • Monday, June 28th, 2010

    Among the stories on today’s Legion of News:

    ...What kind of strange, stilted language is the Gore-accusing masseuse using in her statement to police?...Does "Al Gore's Inescapable Embrace" sound like a new kind of men's cologne?...Robert Byrd was still alive, despite what we all thought; now, of course, he's dead...What happens when you taunt an animal that happens to be armed with razor-sharp horns?...

  • Friday, June 25th, 2010

    Among the stories on today’s Legion of News:

    ...The strange case of Al Gore vs. The Portland Masseuse continues...Lake Oswego couple continues to recover from an unexpected landslide; also, they continue to have names that inspire fits of giggles in Dawn Taylor...Twilight actor Rob Pattinson is apparently related to Vlad the Imapler...Man builds nuclear reactor in a spare shed...

  • Thursday, June 24th, 2010

    Among the stories on today’s Legion of News:

    …Al Gore referred to as a "sex poodle" by Portland masseuse -- yes, that Al Gore….LaToya Jackson has tearful reunion with Bubbles the Chimp….Futurama poised to return to television tonight….Fantastic idea for new hometown sports leagues proposed....New tasing statistics raise more questions than they answer...

  • Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

    Among the stories on today's Legion of News:

    ...Assisted-suicide center opens in Sellwood, offers catering....Hell-raising 14-year old girl steals the family van, thwarts three different apprehension attempts, finally sets the van on fire, then punches her grandfather in the face....Top American military leader enters the White House for discussion with President Obama, but (no foolin') never comes back out again....Val Kilmer appears to be a jackass of enormous proportions....

  • Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

    Today's Legion of News answers (or at least raises) the magical question: Which is more dangerous...fifteen coyotes or one Sasquatch? The autopsy report for Slipknot bassist Paul Gray leads to the query: Which is more lethal...real morphine or synthetic morphine? And a stabbing/shooting combo prompts the puzzle: Does crime make you stupid...or do stupid people gravitate toward crime?

  • Monday, June 21st, 2010

    Our inaugural episode begins as many of our later episodes undoubtedly will -- with a trainwreck of such enormous proportions that we have no choice but to just stop and begin everything from the top. Also: the introduction of You Are What You Tweet...truly one of the worst-named show segments ever. This hour of Legion of News features the first half of the "sawing off your own limb to save your life" discussion that was continued on The Rick Emerson Show. [Pay special attention to the voiceover work for Legion of News; that's our good friend Kaebel Hashitani.]




 


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